Not All Easter Candy Is Made Equal, Friends

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On Easter morning in 1987, I sprang out of bed and raced to my Easter basket. Although I had long outgrown the belief in the Easter Bunny, my parents held onto the tradition. As I eagerly scanned the vibrant eggs and sweets in my basket, my gaze landed on the ultimate Easter treasure: a cassette of the Beastie Boys’ hit album, “Licensed to Ill.” I spent the morning celebrating as I munched on jelly beans and peanut butter cups like there was no tomorrow.

That was, without a doubt, the best Easter basket I ever received. (Okay, I might have to give some credit to the wine basket my husband gifted me after I gave up wine during Lent. That one was pretty great too.)

Back in the ‘70s and ‘80s, Easter baskets were refreshingly straightforward. A bit of fake grass, some hard jelly beans, and possibly a chocolate bunny for good measure, and we were thrilled. Little did we know that Easter would evolve into the springtime equivalent of Christmas, and our tastes for candy would become more refined. While we’re all guilty of overindulging in treats and goodies during Easter, there are always some candies that have proven timeless, while others we’d gladly send back with the Easter Bunny.

1. Peanut Butter Eggs

These have been an Easter staple since my childhood. Thankfully, they’ve improved over the years.
Then: Peanut butter eggs from brands like Asher’s were generic and disappointing, filled with subpar peanut butter.
Now: Enter Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs — absolute perfection, and we hope they never leave us!

2. Mini Sugar Egg Panoramas

Then: These sugar eggs, filled with tiny ducks or chicks, adorned with copious amounts of bright icing, served no real purpose and often languished in baskets until they were tossed out.
Now: Surprisingly, these sugary relics still make appearances in Easter baskets. Why do they persist?

3. Cadbury Creme Eggs

Then: Cadbury’s famous slogan “No bunny knows Easter like Cadbury” made waves, and you were either a fan or not based on their commercials.
Now: Stressed parents can still be seen buying them in bulk the night before Easter, yet many still find them less than appetizing.

4. Pez Dispensers

Then: Pez dispensers were the epitome of fun — candy on the go with quirky characters dispensing sugary treats!
Now: We still cherish them, and an Easter basket feels incomplete without that quirky dispenser, even if it’s a creepy lamb.

5. Black Jelly Beans

Then: Black jelly beans were universally despised.
Now: They still belong in the trash.

6. Chocolate Easter Bunnies

Then: You’d feel a pang of disappointment if you woke up to find no chocolate bunny in your basket.
Now: You still hope for that bunny but feel a twinge of horror when your toddler bites into it.

7. Malted Easter Eggs

Then: Colorful, crispy malted eggs were a delight, savored slowly as you enjoyed the crunchy shells.
Now: These treats are often consumed in secret, hidden from the kids who demand your attention.

8. Peeps Marshmallow Chicks

Then: Peeps were a delightful novelty.
Now: You either can’t get enough of them or can’t stand the sight of them.

9. Easter-Themed Candy Corn

Then: It didn’t exist.
Now: Seriously, candy corn needs to take a break.

10. Jelly Beans

Then: The only jelly beans were Brach’s, and they tasted like disappointment.
Now: With flavors ranging from sweet to savory, jelly beans are now a versatile treat.

11. Foil-Wrapped Chocolate Eggs

Then: The Easter Bunny hid these eggs, sparking fierce competition among siblings for the ultimate egg hunt.
Now: The Bunny still hides them, but you often forget how many you’ve stashed around the house, discovering them for months to come.

Reflecting on Easter 1987 brings a smile as I think of my Irish Catholic mom surprising me with that Beastie Boys cassette. But the real punchline is that being the Easter Bunny now means snatching the best candy before the kids get to it. So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to dive into my stash of peanut butter cups and jelly beans. And yes, I should probably download some Beastie Boys tunes too.

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Summary:

This playful exploration of Easter candies compares the nostalgic treats of the past with their modern counterparts. While some candies have improved, others remain unchanged or are best left behind. Ultimately, the joy of Easter lies in the memories and the sweet treats we still cherish.