It’s 10:30 p.m. and my daughter gets up to use the bathroom. As she flicks on the light, my son pipes up from his room, “Mom, when are we heading to the park tomorrow?” Both of them were tucked in two hours ago, yet neither has drifted off to sleep. It’s likely they won’t for another 30–60 minutes.
Our two youngest, ages 13 and 8, are quintessential night owls. They routinely stay up as late as my partner and I do, which is typically around 10:30 or 11:00 p.m. Although they hit the hay around a reasonable hour—generally between 8:30 and 9:00—something in them just isn’t ready to sleep.
Over the years, we’ve experimented with a myriad of strategies to encourage them to fall asleep earlier. Our bedtime routine is consistent and well-established, so that’s not the problem. We ensure they engage in plenty of vigorous play and get fresh air during daylight hours. We’ve limited their screen time and enforced a strict “no screens after dinner” rule to shield their circadian rhythms from blue light. We’ve tried both earlier and later bedtimes, even waking them up at the crack of dawn. We’ve tested guided meditations, calming music, audiobooks, and just plain silence. Their room is dark, yet the results remain unchanged.
The one method that consistently helps them fall asleep faster is a small dose of melatonin (1 mg). However, we’re hesitant to rely on it long-term due to the inconclusive research regarding its effects on hormonal development. With our pediatrician’s approval, we use it sparingly when we know they’ll need to rise early. Besides that, we let them follow their natural rhythms.
Fortunately, homeschooling allows us to adapt to their sleep patterns. It’s rare for the kids to have to wake up early, so they still get the sleep they need, just on a later schedule—going to bed at 11 p.m. and waking up around 8:30–9 a.m. If they were in a traditional school setting, I can’t imagine how challenging it would be.
We didn’t foresee this shift. Our first child had a much earlier sleep schedule. While our younger two initially followed suit, their nighttime awakeness gradually increased over the years. Our pediatrician explained that some individuals naturally have a later sleep cycle. I sometimes wonder if my partner is to blame—he recalls lying awake for hours as a child. Though he has since adjusted to a more moderate sleep schedule after 19 years, he certainly was a night owl in his youth. I, on the other hand, have always been an early bird, making it tough for me to relate.
Having kids who sleep late isn’t ideal in my book. I cherish my evenings of peace and quiet while they slumber. But now that our eldest is a teenager, she too has adopted a later sleep routine, so I’ve started using the mornings as my personal time to recharge. I spent too long resisting their natural sleep tendencies. After exhausting all the tips to encourage earlier sleep without success, we chose to embrace their unique rhythms. We still encourage them to settle into bed at a sensible hour, but we no longer stress about when they actually fall asleep. They always manage to drift off eventually.
Our pediatrician reassured us that as long as they’re falling asleep around the same time each night and receiving ample sleep, a shifted schedule isn’t inherently problematic. I’ve witnessed how our eldest’s sleep patterns have evolved as she matured, so I’ve decided not to worry about it. We’ve adopted a “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” mentality regarding our kids’ sleepless evenings.
After enduring years of sleep deprivation during their baby and toddler phases, I’m simply grateful that everyone sleeps through the night. Although our kids might start their nights later, if they’re happy and healthy, why not let them be?
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In summary, while our children may not fit the conventional sleep mold, we’ve learned to embrace their night owl tendencies. With a supportive routine and flexibility, we prioritize their well-being over strict schedules.