During a recent visit to the NICU, a hospital volunteer chuckled and asked, “How will you afford ALL THOSE WEDDINGS?” as I looked into one of my premature triplet daughters’ incubators. I simply replied, “Right now, I’m more concerned with getting them out of the NICU.” This moment sparked countless inquiries about how my partner and I will manage the expenses of our six daughters’ future weddings. If you’re a mother of multiple girls, you likely know this question all too well.
While I understand it serves as an easy conversation starter, I want to clarify that I’m not worried about wedding costs—and here’s why.
Outdated Assumptions
First and foremost, the question is based on outdated assumptions. Who says all my daughters will choose to marry, let alone have extravagant weddings? They might elope (fingers crossed they still invite me), opt for intimate ceremonies, or even become financially independent, whisking us away to a tropical paradise to witness their vows on the beach. The possibilities are endless, including the chance that one or more of them may decide against marriage altogether.
The Reality of Weddings
Moreover, the notion that marriage necessitates a lavish celebration is simply not true. My own wedding, funded by my parents, in-laws, and my husband and I, was delightful yet budget-conscious. An elaborate wedding is a choice rather than a prerequisite for a successful marriage.
Living in the Present
I generally don’t concern myself with events that are decades away. Do you fret over whether your sons will experience baldness? Or if your children will want kids someday? These thoughts seem distant, just like the prospect of weddings. My daily challenges revolve around getting my girls to eat their vegetables, maintain hygiene, and go to bed at a reasonable hour.
Current Worries
That said, I have my share of worries. I fret about their screen time, the potential for lice infestations, and the ongoing slime trend (when will it end?). I’m concerned about dental health, the bedwetting phase, and the social pressures they might face during their formative years.
Teenage Concerns
As they reach their teenage years, I worry about body image and self-acceptance. I think about their driving skills and their ability to advocate for what’s right, especially when it contradicts popular opinion. The myriad of social media apps that allow for secret messaging among teens is another source of concern.
Future Priorities
Looking ahead, I prioritize assisting them with college expenses, which are predictable and rising annually. I worry about the societal challenges they may encounter as women, including the potential undervaluation of their voices in professional settings.
Reflections on Marriage
While I’m not anxious about weddings, I do contemplate the nature of marriage itself. I hope my daughters won’t rush into it before they fully understand who they are. Marriage should be viewed as a meaningful partnership rather than merely a checkbox on life’s to-do list.
Conclusion
In summary, my current worries are centered around daily parenting struggles and their immediate needs rather than distant wedding plans. The prospect of weddings doesn’t weigh on my mind.
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