We navigate through grocery stores, checkout lines, libraries, or even stroll down the street, and we encounter those kind-hearted strangers. Their eyes are filled with warmth, and we instantly recognize what they are about to say: “Savor this time… it passes so quickly.”
But here’s the reality: I do appreciate these moments. I truly do. I was the mother awake at 3 a.m. with her newborn, consciously etching every detail into my memory—the weight of her tiny body, the way her little hand curled around my finger, and the way she stretched her limbs in pure bliss.
I actively embrace these fleeting moments, aware of how swiftly time slips through our fingers, and I treasure this unique chapter in our lives. Yet, I often wonder: what about the challenging moments? What do we say about those days that don’t feel special?
Take this morning, for instance, when my 22-month-old threw a two-hour tantrum, and I snapped, retreating to my bedroom with chocolate until I could regain my composure. Or the time at the store when my children quarreled so intensely that they toppled our cart, their cries echoing through the aisles.
Or there are days when my first-trimester fatigue collides with the demands of two toddlers, leading me to exclaim, “Can you just take care of yourselves for a bit?” What do we do with those tough moments? Can we really find joy in them?
Those instances when I feel like I’m failing as a mother, when I feel I haven’t shown enough love or patience, those moments can sting.
Yet, moments have a unique way of passing. They tick away, sometimes racing by, sometimes dragging on. Regardless of our readiness or desire, these moments will come—some will be easier to enjoy than others, while some will leave us feeling bruised.
To those well-meaning strangers, we are deeply aware that time flies and that we should cherish this special period in our family. But here’s the truth: we can’t enjoy every single moment. Parenthood is challenging, and that’s just a fact.
So to the tired moms, the new ones, the barely holding it together ones, and those running on caffeine—stop feeling pressured to relish every moment. That’s just another expectation that weighs you down.
Instead, understand this: you are already a great mother. Your love for your children is what truly matters.
What if we shifted our focus from “enjoying” every moment to simply leaning into them? Embracing the tough moments could be a form of defiance—it’s a declaration that those hard times don’t define us. It takes courage to face each moment, even the prickly ones.
Now, when I find myself amidst the whining, the bickering, and the exhaustion, I will seek out something within that moment to embrace: the chocolate smudge on her cheek from sneaking a cookie, her attempts at new words like “appetizer” and “ridiculous,” or her sister’s new skill of walking backward. I’ll try to laugh instead of cry when the day spirals out of control.
I want to live fully, even in these exhausting little years. Even through moments that threaten my sanity. Even then.
So, the next time someone tells you to enjoy this just as you’re about to lose it, smile and say, “I will.” And with every bit of determination you possess, don’t let the tough day win—search for one tiny moment to hold onto and embrace it with everything you’ve got.
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In summary, while we can’t cherish every moment of motherhood, we can choose to embrace the full spectrum of experiences—both joyful and challenging. This journey is about love, resilience, and finding beauty in the chaos.