As a child, I remember two girls whose lights were out by 7:30 p.m. at ages 7 and 5. If my little ones, aged 7 and 5, have finished their snacks by that time, I might just faint from disbelief! To be honest, I can count on one hand the times we’ve wrapped up bedtime by 8:30 p.m. Sure, one of them might crash at 7 p.m. after an early rise, but generally speaking, my kids are night owls. They start asking to hit the hay around 9:30 p.m. So instead of the nightly struggle to keep them in bed, we get them into pajamas at that time and aim to finish up by 10 o’clock. Sometimes, when they’re happily engaged in building with Legos, they might even stay up until 11 p.m.
Late bedtimes? Not a problem for me.
We’re certainly not alone in this. For every parent who has their children tucked in at 8 p.m. sharp, there are many of us blessed with little night owls. However, we often feel the societal pressure to conform. The common belief is that kids should be asleep by 7:30 or 8:30 p.m., and any deviation from this norm is seen as a sign of a chaotic family life.
But what exactly do my kids do during those late hours? Just like during the day, they play! They build and demolish their Lego creations, watch TV, and engage in their favorite activities. At this very moment, it’s 7:15 p.m., and they’re running around with the airplanes they’ve constructed, occasionally glancing at an episode of Animaniacs. Their evenings are simply an extension of their daytime fun. They eat dinner and continue to play without a care in the world.
Now, some might wonder when parents of night owls get their own time. Well, many of us are night owls too or have adapted to our kids’ schedules. We spend time with them while they play and tackle chores after they’re asleep. If we waited for them to doze off, we’d never manage to get anything done!
People often suggest that we should try to enforce a more “acceptable” bedtime. Believe me, every parent of a night owl has attempted this. We’ve put them to bed only to witness them either jumping out to play or crying out about needing water or using the bathroom every few minutes. Sometimes, we find ourselves lying next to them, enduring their antics for what seems like hours, scrolling through our phones in the dark.
Have you ever tried convincing a child to sleep when they’re wide awake? It’s a recipe for disaster on all fronts. Eventually, we decided to let our kids stay up until they’re genuinely tired—typically around 9:30 or 10 p.m. My 7-year-old hits the pillow and is snoring in minutes, while my 3-year-old drifts off in my arms. The 5-year-old takes a bit longer, but he usually falls asleep quickly if he’s had a full day of activity. We don’t engage in lengthy bedtime rituals; it’s quick and easy—wham, bam, thank you, snooze.
Do I occasionally wish for earlier bedtimes? Absolutely. Especially on days when they need to wake up early. We homeschool, so it usually isn’t an issue. But on those rare occasions when I have an early appointment or need them up for a babysitter, I find myself wishing they would settle down like other kids. We rouse them gently, play their favorite songs, and endure their morning grumbles. It’s not fun, but we manage.
However, the perks of being a night owl family shine during summer evenings. We can hunt for toads, gaze at the stars, or catch lightning bugs without rushing through a bedtime routine that starts at 6 p.m. My kids, like yours, are happy and healthy—they just have different internal clocks. Their circadian rhythms might not align with the societal norm, but that’s perfectly okay. After all, we don’t criticize adults for their sleep habits, so why should it be any different for children?
Let’s acknowledge that our kids are thriving, just like yours, and skip the judgment.
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In summary, embracing the unique rhythm of night owl children can lead to a fulfilling family life, filled with joy and fun activities, even if it veers from conventional bedtime norms.