Recently, my son, Alex, shared that he had made it to the finals of his school’s Geography Bee. He expressed his unease, saying, “I’m not going to win, so I just feel like not doing it.” I completely understand his feelings; even at 42, I still grapple with similar emotions. The challenge lies in instilling self-confidence in him to try his best, regardless of the results. It’s a delicate balance, as we want our kids to enjoy their experiences rather than feel overwhelmed by pressure.
I reassured Alex that he should just give it his all and focus on me for support, reminding him that I would be proud of him no matter the outcome. He stepped up to the challenge, though it was evident that he was wrestling with the desire to excel. Ultimately, while he didn’t win, he persevered and hopefully found some enjoyment in the process. I want him to understand that being an average kid doesn’t equate to failing or never being good at something. I will always support him, ensuring he knows that my pride doesn’t hinge on him being the best.
All three of my children fall into the average category. They occasionally land on the honor roll but must put in considerable effort to do so. Academic success doesn’t come easily for them. While they participate in various sports and clubs, they often have off days where they don’t perform at their peak.
I accept that my kids are, by many standards, average, and that’s perfectly okay. Of course, as a mother, I sometimes wish for them to excel in something, thinking it might bolster their confidence. I also experience moments of frustration when I sense they could be putting in more effort, which often reflects my own past experiences in school and sports. I wasn’t particularly engaged in academics or athletics either.
Reflecting on the parenting styles of others, I once observed a father harshly criticizing his son, a supposed star athlete, after a game. It made me wonder whether the child played for love of the game or simply out of fear of disappointing his father. That level of pressure is unhealthy for any child, and I firmly believe our kids should not face ridicule for their average status. They need acceptance and encouragement to do their best, but not at the expense of their happiness or sense of self-worth.
As parents, we must remember that our children are not extensions of ourselves. I never want my kids to feel that my pride is conditional on their performance, whether they miss a shot in basketball or a question during the Geography Bee. I take pride in their courage to participate and give their best effort, regardless of the outcome.
So yes, I am the proud parent of three wonderful, average kids, and my love for them is unwavering, regardless of their report cards or athletic accolades. What truly matters to me is their happiness, kindness, and effort, and I make sure they know this regularly. Average children are remarkable individuals, too.
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Summary:
The article discusses a parent’s perspective on the importance of embracing average performance in children, emphasizing acceptance and support over pressure to excel. It shares personal anecdotes about raising three average kids, highlighting the value of happiness and effort. The piece advocates for a healthy approach to parenting, prioritizing children’s well-being over societal expectations of achievement.