While pregnant with my second child and managing my rambunctious toddler, I found myself leaving a diner one afternoon when I encountered a couple with a newborn. With a smile, I congratulated them, but my attention shifted when my husband arrived with our other two children. The new dad, clearly in awe of my impending motherhood of four, exclaimed, “Wow, that’s a lot of kids! You must have all the answers. Can you share some advice?”
It was tempting to step into the role he had assigned me as a parenting guru. However, as I looked at the new mom beside him, I recognized a familiar vulnerability in her eyes—she was likely grappling with the challenges of early motherhood mixed with hope. What she truly needed wasn’t advice from me, but rather the reassurance that she was doing just fine.
I took a moment to reflect on my own early days of motherhood, when feelings of inadequacy loomed large. So, rather than dispense advice, I said, “You don’t need my wisdom. Your baby is peacefully asleep in her carrier, and you’re out here managing everything. That’s an impressive feat. You’ve got this.”
Her look of gratitude proved that sometimes, encouragement is more valuable than unsolicited advice. I recalled my own experience as a new mom, feeling overwhelmed and frazzled, often questioning my every decision. The postpartum phase is particularly challenging, filled with emotional ups and downs that can make it hard to see the positives.
Though I now have the experience of raising four children, it doesn’t make me an authority on parenting. Yes, I may have more laundry to do and more messes to clean, but the everyday struggles are universally relatable. Just the other night, I was trying to coax one child into sitting down to dinner while another protested the sauce choice, and the youngest was flinging food everywhere. It’s a familiar scene for any parent, regardless of how many kids you have.
Now, instead of panicking over spilled food, I sometimes let my toddler scavenge for snacks off the floor—an unconventional multitasking strategy that helps me keep my sanity. As a parent, I’m more confused than ever, especially with constant changes in parenting trends and advice.
In fact, I often turn to newer moms for fresh insights. Recently, while chatting with a first-time mom during a hair appointment, I found her experiences invaluable. She shared practical solutions that made my own parenting challenges feel more manageable. If you’re navigating the world of motherhood, consider checking out essential resources like this one on pregnancy and home insemination or read about Jamie and Alex’s journey in this post for further inspiration.
So, to the new moms I encounter: don’t view me as an expert just because I have four kids. I’m just as confused and overwhelmed as you are, and I’m still learning every day. Let’s support one another instead of trying to measure up to some imaginary standards.