As my daughter approaches her teenage years—she’s currently 12 and about to turn 13—I find myself hoping we’re nearing the end of the “tween moodiness” saga. Honestly, I’m not sure how many more episodes of door-slamming and emotional rollercoasters I can handle before I lose my cool completely.
Recent insights from a parenting article highlight that the emotional turbulence experienced by tweens often stems from a surge in growth hormones and significant changes happening in their brains. As psychologist and author, Mark Johnston, puts it, “During the preteen years, it’s as if the gas pedal is pressed down, while the brakes are still being installed.” This paints a vivid picture of the high-stakes emotional landscape of tweens.
As most tweens are reluctant to admit they need assistance in managing their feelings, here are three strategies to help you navigate their mood swings—none of which involve reaching for a glass of wine!
1. Don’t Take the Bait
Parenting expert and therapist Laura Thompson advises that the tween years often bring a desire for independence, leading many to test boundaries and challenge authority. The trick is to stay composed and self-assured. For instance, when your tween expresses dissatisfaction with dinner by saying they “hate your pasta,” acknowledge their feelings calmly. You might respond with, “I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy it,” then gently shift the conversation to something more positive.
2. Promote Healthy Routines
Moodiness can amplify when kids are fatigued. Encourage your tween to engage in physical activity for at least an hour each day. Participating together in a walk or bike ride can be a fun bonding experience, but be cautious not to over-schedule. Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep are just as vital—don’t let their busy schedules compromise these essential factors.
3. Resist the Urge to Fix Everything
At this stage, attentive listening is crucial for fostering open communication. Rather than jumping into problem-solving mode, focus on understanding their feelings first. Choose relaxed settings for discussions—like during a car ride or while playing catch. Interestingly, many tweens may prefer texting as a means of communication, finding it less daunting, so don’t hesitate to give that a shot.
It’s important to recognize that tweens can exhibit signs of distress that may resemble depression. If your child displays ongoing sadness or anxiety that seems beyond typical mood swings, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support.
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In summary, navigating the challenging waters of tween moodiness requires patience and understanding. By employing these strategies, you can foster a supportive environment that encourages open communication and emotional health.