Ah, another invitation to a “Girls Night Out!” Join us to explore our latest products! Hair treatments! Nail wraps! Body wraps! Candles! Oils! Eco-friendly cleaners! Chic home decor that looks vintage but isn’t! AAAAAAH. At this point, I just want to burrow under a blanket with a book and shut out the world. Frankly, all this feminine fuss leaves me feeling completely lost.
At 37, I walk into these gatherings and introduce myself: “Hi, I’m Emily. I don’t wear makeup. I’ve never set foot in a Sephora. I don’t dye my hair. Shoe shopping isn’t my thing. And I had to Google ‘Joanna Gaines’ just to keep up with moms at school pickup. Want to be friends?” It’s a bit awkward, to say the least.
How did I end up like this? I’m not entirely devoid of femininity. I enjoy pink and sparkles. I just tend to buy my pink sparkly items on clearance at discount stores. Perhaps I’m just practically minded—or maybe just lazy. Every purchase requires extensive justification in my mind. Will I wear this top with at least three different bottoms? Trying new products seems like such a hassle. When someone says to give a “product” 30 days to see results, I think, seriously? That feels like an eternity. I’ll stick with my generic skincare from my local retail chain, thank you very much.
Time marches on. The fine lines around my eyes deepen, grays appear sporadically, and I convince myself it’s just the lighting. Other moms discuss Botox while I’m over here wondering when I last put on mascara.
Soon, it will be May, and we can finally pack away our boots and break out the flip-flops. Moms will lament needing pedicures, and while I also enjoy pedicures, mine consist of a DIY nail paint session in my bathroom on Saturday nights. No sweet lady to massage my feet—just me, some bright pink polish I “borrowed” from my daughter’s stash. Have I had a professional pedi? Sure, but only if it’s a “bring your own wine” kind of event—I’m all for that.
Whenever I receive invitations to these product parties, I worry someone will try to sell me an overpriced foot cream. Sorry, but I’m not spending $85 on a fancy foot rub. That’s way down on my list, probably at number 456.
Then there are those body wraps. A good friend of mine sells them, and to support her, I thought, why not give it a shot? How bad could it be? She said to leave it on for 45 minutes for that coveted tight tummy. After 42 of the longest, itchiest minutes of my life, I ripped it off and tossed it away. No miracle here—just a reminder of those three big babies I carried (and no, munching on chips on the couch wasn’t the culprit).
When it comes to accessories, I’m utterly perplexed. My mother-in-law periodically gifts me a stylish purse, which I wear until it literally falls apart. A friend once showed me her new handbag, and when she revealed the cost, I felt my heart race. I was positive I would spill something on it from across the room. I simply don’t comprehend this world.
As my late-30s self grapples with beauty routines, my home isn’t faring much better. After moving recently, I thought it was time to step up my home decor game. Years of visiting friends with stylish homes left me feeling inadequate with my outdated garage sale finds. However, wandering through home goods stores left me mumbling to myself like a confused cat lady. I learned about terms like “texture” and “pop of color.” After what felt like selling a kidney to afford decor that looks “aged,” only one room in my house resembles that of a grown-up. Yay, I suppose?
I guess it’s a move toward adulthood. I’ve always been annoyingly practical. Three babies in five years made cute shoes impractical. Flip-flops became my go-to. My fluctuating body shape led me to choose sensible clothing that concealed my equally sensible bras. As a stay-at-home mom, I defaulted to sweats and a messy bun—not because it was trendy, but because my hair was often unwashed.
Now, as I approach 38, my kids are growing up. No more babies or toddlers demanding my attention every moment. Maybe it’s time for me to grow up too. Perhaps I’ll finally figure out what shiplap is and whether I want it in my home. Or expand my makeup collection beyond the eyeliner and mascara I picked up on sale at the drugstore.
For now, I’m savoring a hot cup of coffee while resting my feet on my ottoman (yes, I own an ottoman!) and embracing adulthood—while wearing the slippers my kids gifted me for Mother’s Day in 2011. One small step at a time, folks.
To learn more about home insemination and to boost your fertility, you can check out this resource. For more insight into the process, visit this authority. Additionally, if you’re looking for reliable information on pregnancy, the CDC is an excellent resource.
In summary, navigating the confusing world of beauty and home decor can be overwhelming, especially as life changes and priorities shift. Taking it step by step while embracing practicality might just lead to a more fulfilling experience in adulthood.