Raising my son presented its own set of challenges, particularly when it came to his lack of motivation as a student. My partner and I consciously tried not to let his academic performance shape our perception of him, especially throughout high school, but we often found ourselves grappling with self-doubt. We questioned our parenting choices and wondered where we went wrong in fostering his drive. What could we have done differently?
Ultimately, we discovered it wasn’t our responsibility to find his motivation; he needed to cultivate it himself.
In today’s competitive educational landscape—filled with AP courses, honor rolls, and perfect GPAs—a child who achieves average grades can sometimes feel like a disappointment to their parents. Many view a “C” student as akin to a high school dropout, particularly when it comes to elite colleges and universities. Some high school counselors, swamped by large student bodies, and private admissions consultants, focused on their success rates, may overlook average performers as merely destined for community college.
However, average high school grades do not preclude success in college. My son graduated with a GPA just under 3.0. His performance was influenced by multiple factors, such as a mild learning disability (ADHD) and a noticeable lack of enthusiasm for academics. We took various steps to inspire him, including hiring tutors, even engaging the inspiring PhD English teacher who had motivated our daughter. Yet, each week I listened in on their sessions, only to see my son’s disinterest in the material, despite the teacher’s engaging explanations. As an avid reader with a background in English, it was disheartening to witness his aversion to literature.
Conversely, my son exhibited a remarkable depth of knowledge about sports—his ability to recall baseball and football statistics was astounding. He could analyze plays with the precision of a mathematician tackling calculus. My husband and I often wondered how this passion would serve him in life. Still, we believed the valuable lessons he learned from football—commitment, discipline, and teamwork—would benefit him in the future, so we encouraged his involvement in the sport, hoping it would spark an interest in academics as well.
The notion that attending a prestigious university is the sole route to success is not only misleading but unattainable for the vast majority of high school students. Many excellent institutions welcome average students, providing the educational experiences that truly matter. My son was fortunate to gain acceptance into one of these schools.
Parents of average students might consider adopting a different approach than we did, resisting the urge to incessantly push their children for higher academic performance. Many teens don’t reach the maturity necessary to find their drive until after high school. Our constant battles over studying and grades proved to be unproductive and caused unnecessary stress for everyone involved.
For my son, it wasn’t until he enrolled in college that he discovered a passion—American history—that allowed him to achieve the grades we always knew he was capable of. He graduated in four years in the spring of 2014. The support he received during college, combined with his personal growth, was instrumental in his success. His senior thesis explored the history of the Mexican baseball league and its influence on American sports, earning him a B+. Today, he juggles two jobs—one in management for a college football team and another in public affairs at a large energy corporation. His achievement as an average high school student emphasizes that success can be attained without parental pressure.
In the end, it’s unlikely a potential employer will inquire about his high school GPA—there’s so much more to him than that. For more insights on parenting and education, consider checking out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
(Note: This article was written with my son’s approval and support.)
Summary:
Parenting an average student can be a challenging journey filled with doubts about motivation and academic performance. It’s essential to recognize that success isn’t solely defined by grades, and many average students can thrive in college and beyond when they find their passion. Supporting their interests and allowing them to grow independently can lead to fulfilling outcomes.