Growing up, my family relocated often, so much so that by the age of 10, my longest stay in one place was slightly over two years. My father’s job frequently required him to move, leading to the familiar refrain, “Guess what, kids? A promotion means a new adventure!” Yet, these adventures often left me as the newcomer at school, with my belongings packed away for months, and my social life turned upside down.
While I quickly learned to make friends and adjust to new environments, deep down, I yearned for stability. I envisioned a life where I could store items in my basement and remember where I placed them years later. I longed to grow up alongside the same friends from kindergarten through high school, and I envied those families with a close-knit network of aunts, uncles, and grandparents nearby.
Determined to create my own roots, I resolved that as an adult, I would establish my family tree in one location and never move again. I wanted my children to experience the sense of belonging that I lacked. So, when my father announced during my college years that he and my mother were relocating with my two younger brothers across the country, I made a significant decision. I chose to stay in my college town to nurture the life I had begun to build. My parents supported my choice, but the guilt was undeniable. It was a tough call to live apart from my family, yet I had found my partner, and I was ready to grow the roots I always dreamed of.
Living far from family is not without its challenges. Balancing holiday celebrations between both sides is a juggling act, and it’s hard to keep up with the everyday moments in my extended family’s lives. Though technology like texting and video calls helps, it can still feel isolating to see photos of family gatherings on social media that I can’t attend due to the distance. However, having family spread across the country also has its unique benefits.
1. No Unexpected Visits
I adore my family, but let’s face it: no one relishes surprise visits at dawn, especially before coffee! With family living far away, visits are planned, allowing me to prepare in advance. I can stock up on their favorite snacks and avoid the chaos of last-minute cleanups when unexpected guests arrive.
2. Sweeter Reunions
When my kids know we’re off to visit their grandparents for our annual winter trip, their excitement rivals Christmas morning. They eagerly communicate with their grandparents weeks ahead of time, and as the visit approaches, we fondly recall past adventures and discuss our plans for the upcoming trip. These visits are filled with cherished traditions that make the time apart worthwhile.
3. Building Our Village
With both sets of grandparents living far away, we quickly realized that to navigate the challenges of parenting, we needed to lean on friends and neighbors. We’ve built a supportive community that has become our chosen family in times of need. While we would still have friends if our family lived closer, our connections have deepened through shared experiences.
4. Creating Our Own Family Traditions
Although we strive to connect with family during holidays and special occasions, there have been times when it was just the four of us. Those moments can be magical. We’ve enjoyed Easter pizza parties and Christmas dinners consisting of cereal under the tree. Living apart has allowed us to strengthen our family bonds and establish unique traditions that our children will treasure into adulthood.
While being away from family has its difficulties—like the high cost of holiday travel and navigating medical emergencies—it has also brought unexpected joys. I’m grateful for my decision to branch out and nurture my little family tree, which has grown strong and extended beyond my wildest dreams.
For those looking into family planning options, consider checking out resources from the CDC on pregnancy and home insemination here. If you’re interested in the practicalities of self-insemination, you can also explore this page for helpful kits. Additionally, this site offers valuable insights on care teams for your journey.