Unnecessary Anxiety
Embarking on the college journey with my teenager has me experiencing a sense of wedding-planning PTSD. It all begins a year in advance! Everyone has their opinions, and the judgment can be overwhelming. In the end, however, it seems that no matter what path you take, it will be just fine.
As soon as you hear the news of an engagement, the question arises: “When’s the big day?” Similarly, when someone discovers you have a high school junior or senior, they ask, “What colleges are they considering?” These inquiries are natural, and honestly, I’m guilty of asking them too because I love discussing weddings and am curious about where friends are sending their kids. Recently, while observing friends plan their weddings and my teenager receive a flood of college brochures, I realized how much anxiety the college application process stirs up for me as a parent.
You Promise to Stay Calm, But…
Every bride envisions a stress-free experience, and every mom believes she won’t get overly anxious about the college process. Oh, the irony! I’ve often told friends, “Don’t let your child apply to more than ten schools!” Yet here I am, with my son’s list growing to fifteen and counting. I find myself oscillating between “I can’t stress about this” and “OMG, I’m so overwhelmed!” I even hired a college advisor, which feels eerily similar to hiring a wedding planner. When he provided a list of schools, I confidently suggested others! Some of my emails to him resemble rants—let’s be honest, I think I’m compensating for my worries by venting to him.
Planning Begins a Year in Advance
In January, a memory popped up on my phone: a college tour with my first child. Rather than feeling nostalgic, I was hit with panic. I realized I was falling behind with my second child, who has only seen one college so far. I rushed to search for college tours to take during spring break. Why did I wait until spring, knowing he needs to apply this November? It felt reminiscent of scrambling to secure a wedding venue before Valentine’s Day.
Everyone Has Something to Say
My partner and I eloped, and while some claimed I’d regret it, I’ve never looked back. Similarly, when I mentioned my firstborn’s interest in large universities, unsolicited advice flooded in about considering small liberal arts colleges—why? With my son, when I name a few schools, the responses are often disheartening, like “I hope he likes the snow there” or “Oh, I had a relative who went there, and they hated it.”
How’s it Going?
This is the very question I ask every bride-to-be. During my own wedding planning, I enjoyed sharing details about the reception, but it also invited second-guessing and more opinions. The same goes for college talk; even casual updates like “We’re waiting to hear” open the floodgates for follow-up questions that leave me spinning.
Budget Realities
Weddings can empty your wallet. At some point, you just have to pull back. For me, it was choosing between flowers or favors at the reception, and I opted for flowers. College costs can vary drastically; while some families can afford to pay, others may resort to unethical means. Ultimately, though, most of us need to spend wisely without jeopardizing our financial future.
In the End, It’s Not About the Destination
A wedding is merely the beginning of a marriage, just as where your child goes to college doesn’t dictate their entire life or career. Whatever path they choose afterward, whether it meets expectations or leads to unexpected adventures, is what truly matters. I remind myself of this while scheduling my son for the SAT.
For more insights on navigating this journey, check out one of our other blog posts here, or visit this expert source for valuable information. You might also find this resource helpful for related topics.
Summary
: The journey of guiding a high school student through the college application process can evoke feelings akin to the stress of wedding planning. With a year of preparation ahead, opinions from others can add pressure, while budgetary concerns loom large. Ultimately, it’s essential to remember that the college choice is only a small part of the larger picture of your child’s future.
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