In a world where societal norms dictate preferences, I find myself raising a son who adores princesses. His favorite is Elsa, though he also cherishes Belle and Moana. Wrapped in his beloved winter-white fleece blanket, which has been with him since birth, he declares, “Look at me, Mommy. I’m Elsa. I’m different.”
What he means is that he embodies the Elsa who has transformed from the character with the purple cape into the one who embraces her true self in a dazzling snow-and-ice gown. He identifies with Elsa after her sister Anna remarks, “Elsa, you’ve changed. You’re different.” Indeed, both Elsa and my son defy societal expectations.
As I watch him twirl in his imaginative realm, singing “Let it Go,” I feel a mix of pride and trepidation. He is perfect and passionate, yet so vulnerable to the critiques of others. I anticipate the day when he might face ridicule for his love of a character that society deems unsuitable for boys.
Every time we pass through the Disney aisle at Target, he begs for that magical gown. My heart is conflicted; I dread the possibility of his future pain while also wanting to nurture his spirit. I’ve seen individuals embrace their uniqueness only to suffer under the weight of societal norms. Conversely, I’ve witnessed those who suppress their true selves, grappling with self-loathing. How do I guide him in a world that often punishes difference?
Society imposes rigid ideas about gender roles: boys are expected to favor trucks and sports, while girls are encouraged to love glitter and tutus. Ironically, while many are advised to “be yourself” and “embrace your differences,” this acceptance often comes with strings attached. The reality is that boys who enjoy “girl” things face far harsher judgment than girls who break stereotypes.
My son has already begun to question his preferences. Recently, he asked me, “Mommy, are pink and purple girl colors?” Each time, I feel a pang of discomfort. I reassure him, “No. Boys can wear pink and purple too. Anyone can wear whatever colors they like.” He nods, absorbing my words, and I hug him tightly, wishing to shield him from a world that may not accept him.
“I’m Elsa and I’m different,” he repeats, spinning with joy. This reminds me of the Elsa who had to flee from societal constraints, ultimately risking everything to become her true self. I refuse to let my son endure such a fate. If he finds joy in princesses, pink, and playful characters like Peppa Pig and Strawberry Shortcake, then I will support him wholeheartedly.
Ultimately, I know this choice may lead to heartache. One day, he will confront a world that might not embrace his passions. Yet, I believe that the pain of teaching him to deny himself would be far greater. I cannot predict how his interests will evolve as he matures. Whether he continues to love princesses or chooses a different path, the most important thing is that he feels free to be who he is.
I love my son unconditionally, and I firmly believe that love is the antidote to hate. It starts with loving ourselves. So, when he asks for an Elsa gown for Christmas, my response must be an unwavering, “Absolutely.” I want him to know that he is perfect just as he is. He’s unique, and I believe Elsa would be proud.
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Summary
This article reflects the challenges faced by a parent of a son who loves traditionally feminine interests, such as princesses. It discusses the societal pressures and norms that can lead to confusion and distress in children who don’t conform to gender expectations. The author expresses a commitment to support their child in embracing his identity and interests, regardless of societal judgment.