As I sat in the bank drive-thru with my 4-year-old, we were deep in conversation about which lollipop she would choose that day. Suddenly, the dreaded moment arrived: the bank tube returned empty, just a receipt inside. “Oh no, Lexi, it seems the teller forgot the sucker,” I said, trying to keep the mood light.
Silence ensued, and then it happened. “Dammit!” she exclaimed, tossing her drawing pad onto the floor of our minivan. Thankfully, she couldn’t see the grin creeping across my face. I mean, let’s be real—there’s something amusing about a little one using that word so effectively. If a lack of a bank treat doesn’t warrant a “dammit,” what does?
I took a moment to explain that such words are meant for adults and offered her some alternative expressions like “rats” and “shucks.” I thought the conversation had gone pretty well.
Later that day, however, my 9-year-old informed me that Lexi had tried to ask Siri a question on the iPad, only to be met with the irritating response of “I’m afraid I can’t take any questions right now.” Frustrated, Lexi slammed the iPad down and yelled, “Dammit!” It seems my earlier words of wisdom hadn’t quite taken hold.
A few days later, Lexi asked if the local football team had won their game. When I told her they hadn’t, she responded with a mischievous, “Oh, bammit!” Clearly, she had found a clever loophole.
This wasn’t our first encounter with colorful language. When she was just 2, she had a phase of using the F-word with surprising accuracy. The worst was when she dropped her snack bowl and quietly muttered, “Ohhhh, fuck.”
During a family road trip, I distinctly remember praying she wouldn’t let that slip in front of my 92-year-old grandmother. Initially, I tried not to react to her swearing, following advice that suggested ignoring it would prevent a power struggle. However, that strategy failed when she let it slip at daycare. Luckily, her use of profanity didn’t spread like a virus among her friends, and eventually, I had to gently remind her that certain words were off-limits.
In contrast, my older daughter, being the quintessential firstborn, didn’t embrace swearing with the same enthusiasm. One day, while searching for her favorite pink pants, she found them still damp from the wash. “I guess I’ll just have to wait ’til fuckin’ morning!” she cheerfully declared. I nearly burst out laughing but managed to keep a straight face. “What did you say?” I asked, to which she quickly corrected herself, “I guess I’ll just have to wait ’til crummy morning!” And just like that, her swearing career came to an end.
Here’s the thing: while I don’t advocate for swearing, I don’t think it’s the end of the world either. My children undoubtedly picked up these colorful words from me, and I take responsibility for that. Though I certainly don’t parade around the house dropping F-bombs, I’ve been known to mutter “dammit” when things go awry—like burning bagels or spilling milk. What else is there to say when you miss the school bus?
I try to limit the use of swear words around my kids, but it’s not my main priority as a parent. They’ll hear these words, learn how to use them, and eventually figure out the right time to express their frustrations. I have faith they’ll become wonderful individuals regardless of their occasional cursing.
Interestingly, Lexi is quick to call out anyone who dares to say the word “stupid.” She even reports TV characters who use it! My daughters have learned that the truly harmful words—like “stupid,” “hate,” and “dumb”—are completely off-limits in our home. As for the occasional “dammit” from a sweet-natured child? I can handle that.
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In summary, while young children may dabble in swearing, it doesn’t necessarily spell disaster. It’s more important to focus on teaching them about respect and kindness in their language choices.