As the school year approaches, I find myself revisiting the feelings of anxiety I experienced during my own school days. The shyness, the awkwardness, and the fear of being unliked resurface, but this time, my concern is directed towards connecting with other mothers.
The dynamics among moms can be quite challenging. The instinct to form cliques doesn’t cease with high school. For those of us dealing with social anxiety, even the friendliest group can appear insular. More often than not, I find myself on the sidelines, engrossed in my phone, desperately trying to mask the racing heart that accompanies my anxiety about mingling. Unfortunately, this often leads others to perceive me as aloof or unapproachable—the “stuck-up” mom, the “rude” mom, the one who doesn’t want to engage with the rest of the group. This misinterpretation can further isolate me at events like orientation, back-to-school night, or school performances.
I urge fellow moms to be patient with those of us who struggle with social anxiety. We are not intentionally rude; rather, we fear rejection and the possibility of feeling out of place. The prospect of awkward silences when attempting to converse can be daunting, and we often worry that our attempts to connect will be met with indifference. Here are a few ways you can help us feel more included:
- Initiate Contact: If you see us standing alone, please take the initiative to say hello. A simple introduction can go a long way. We’re not as standoffish as we may seem once we feel welcomed.
- Extend Invitations: Much of socializing occurs outside school premises nowadays. We appreciate when you ask for our contact information or invite us to join coffee outings with other moms. Even if we may decline, knowing we were included is meaningful.
- Recognize Our Strengths: We have unique skills and talents to contribute, just like everyone else. Acknowledging our potential for volunteering or participating in classroom activities can help us feel valued. Whether it’s art, writing, or even robotics, we want our abilities to be recognized.
Let’s work together to make this back-to-school season less intimidating for moms grappling with social anxiety. While it may seem trivial to those who haven’t experienced it, social anxiety can lead to severe consequences such as depression and isolation. It’s crucial to be attentive and inclusive. Please remember that our silence doesn’t equate to rudeness; sometimes it’s simply that we lack the energy to initiate conversation.
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In summary, by extending a hand of friendship and understanding, we can create a more inclusive environment for all moms, especially those battling social anxiety.