In my quest for understanding, I’ve spent countless hours in therapy, and it’s been a transformative experience. Before becoming a parent, I was warned that children come without a manual, and I found that to be true. However, after three years of parenting, I’ve realized that children mainly require three essentials: nourishment, affection, and sleep. Adults, on the other hand, can be perplexing and challenging to navigate; perhaps they should come with their own set of instructions.
This realization is what prompted me to seek therapy, which has proven to be one of the best decisions of my life. I’ve dedicated numerous sessions to unpacking past grievances and learning to process emotions, as the current phrase goes, to “feel all the feels.” Ultimately, I’ve become proficient at letting go of negativity. I can empathize with many situations and individuals, but there’s one group I struggle to understand: those who have chosen to ignore my children.
It appears this behavior is more common than I’d like to admit, and my therapist has confirmed it. I often wonder how individuals can feel comfortable disregarding my children’s existence. Today, I feel compelled to voice my thoughts on this subject.
To Those Who Vanished
To those who vanished after my kids entered my life, I ask: What’s wrong with you? Can you genuinely claim to love someone for years and then disappear when they become a parent? Do you think I will believe that your affection for me was authentic while you neglect my children?
If you no longer wished to be part of my life, I could understand that. I’m not without my flaws — I have an obnoxious sense of humor and can be perpetually late. But you chose to stay through my imperfections. Yet, as soon as my first child arrived, you slipped away. Why?
Initially, it hurt deeply. I longed to share the joy of my new family member with you, to introduce you to this tiny human I was sure you would adore. However, my attempts to connect were met with silence. I’m not asking for extravagant gestures; a simple acknowledgment that my children exist would have sufficed. They are my world, and you “loved me,” or so I thought.
Moving Forward
Now, I’m no longer hurt. I refuse to dwell on feelings of self-pity because the reality is clear: if you’re too self-absorbed to recognize the joy my children bring, that’s a loss for you. And it’s a significant loss at that.
You have missed so much. My son’s laughter resonates like a bell, and his hugs could fill anyone’s heart with joy. He has a sharp sense of humor, and nothing compares to the hilarity of a toddler’s well-timed joke. As for my daughter, she’s a whirlwind of energy, discovering life in her own unique way. The sound of her little feet running across our hardwood floors is music to my ears. If you are indifferent to all this, it’s rather sad for you.
By distancing yourself from my family just as our children arrived, you essentially left during the most exciting part of the show. You exited before witnessing the beauty that comes with parenting. I genuinely feel sorry for you because these kids are extraordinary, overflowing with love and joy.
Final Thoughts
After much reflection and therapy, I’ve reached a sense of clarity. To those former friends and family members who have ghosted us: If you lack the interest to know these wonderful children, then you don’t deserve to be part of their lives. That’s the truth. I wish you well because we will thrive without you.
For more information on navigating your parenting journey, check out this resource or delve into self-care tips that can enhance your experience. Additionally, Medical News Today offers valuable insights on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
This article addresses the emotional journey of a parent who feels abandoned by friends and family after having children. It emphasizes the joy of parenting and the disappointment of those who chose to distance themselves from the family. The author reflects on personal growth through therapy and concludes that those who do not want to be involved with her children do not deserve a place in their lives.