Last night was a textbook example of parenting chaos. With my partner away, both our part-time caregivers had conflicting schedules, making them unavailable, and my nearby friend, who’s usually my go-to for emergencies, was attending an event.
I found myself alone with three children, battling the worst migraine I had experienced in years. In the past, our previous full-time caregiver had rushed over to help, tidying up and getting the kids settled while I lay incapacitated. I emerged from that dark haze to find everything in order—a tidy house, children tucked in bed, and a serene silence that was a blessing. I had a deep appreciation for her then, and I felt it even more intensely at that moment.
Unfortunately, she had moved away, leaving me to fend for myself as the pain throbbed menacingly behind my left eye, radiating discomfort all the way to my neck. I could hardly tolerate any light and felt dangerously close to losing my stomach. Thankfully, I had prepped dinner in advance.
I served the kids their meals from the couch while trying to manage my throbbing head. “Is your baby sister done eating? Can you check on her? Make sure she doesn’t stand up in her high chair or stick her fork up her nose?” I shouted, while my five-year-olds took on the role of babysitters.
I had felt proud of myself for crafting delightful fruit skewers with strawberries, blackberries, grapes, and peaches—but in my current state, I cursed that decision, worrying about my toddler’s safety. Luckily, my son was there to help, taking the fruit off the skewer and placing it safely on her tray.
As the hour approached five, I began to panic about how I would manage bath time, brushing teeth, and getting them into pajamas. The noise from my boisterous five-year-olds felt unbearable, like daggers piercing my skull. My toddler kept calling out, “Mama, Mama,” with her innocent brown eyes full of concern, while I could barely respond.
Finally, my five-year-olds confirmed that their sister had finished eating. I took a deep breath, praying my stomach would cooperate, and readied myself to clean her up. To my dismay, I discovered she had stuck a corn kernel up her nose. I had no energy to react, so I simply pulled it out with tweezers. When I checked again, I found another kernel lodged deeper in her nostril. I was grateful for my past experiences in managing such toddler mishaps, as it had prepared me for this unexpected challenge.
After ensuring she was corn-free, I used what little energy I had left to have a gentle talk with her about food safety. By 6 PM, I knew I couldn’t stretch her bedtime any longer, so I got her into pajamas and a diaper, managing only to remove one of her pigtails.
I called for my five-year-olds to come upstairs, where I announced that it would be a national holiday for baths and teeth brushing. They climbed into bed with me and watched cartoons as I curled up under the covers, only to make brief trips to the bathroom due to my nausea.
For the first time ever, I asked them to tuck themselves in. They obliged, with my son giving me a hug, kissing me goodnight, and turning off the lights. As their doors closed, a peaceful silence enveloped the room. I felt immense gratitude that the day was finally over and for the wonderful children I had.
The pain eventually subsided, and I returned to my normal self. A colleague once remarked that having a sick child is no excuse for not being present at work, suggesting everyone should have multiple backup plans. However, not everyone is fortunate enough to have a supportive network. I recognize how rare these moments are for me, and I truly admire those parents who manage without a village. If your kids are fed, somewhat clean, and alive at the end of the day, you’re doing an incredible job.
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Summary:
Navigating parenting alone can be incredibly challenging, especially on days when unforeseen circumstances arise. In a recent experience, I managed to care for my three children while suffering from a debilitating migraine. Despite the chaos, I relied on the resourcefulness of my five-year-olds and my own prior experiences to handle unexpected incidents. It highlighted the importance of support systems and the resilience of parents without a village. Remember, if your children are safe and well-cared for, you’re doing a fantastic job.