When raising children in a conservative community, the challenges are manifold. I often find myself reflecting on our surroundings, particularly as we venture along our favorite hiking trail, which meanders through wetlands and historical earthworks. The imposing soil mounds that snake through the landscape remind me of a painful past. “These hills were constructed by enslaved individuals,” I explain to my son, Oliver, who is just six. “They were forced to work here, suffering from hunger and diseases like malaria and yellow fever.” He scratches his legs, unknowingly echoing the discomfort of that history. “A white man directed their labor,” I add.
The statehouse, constructed with enslaved labor as well, is another point of concern. It is adorned with statues, one of which honors the Father of Gynecology, a man who operated on slaves without their consent. Other figures pay homage to segregationists and slave owners. I choose not to take Oliver there, especially after our participation in protests advocating for the removal of a Confederate flag. “History, not hate,” the protesters shouted, while we stood firm in our beliefs. “That flag represents slavery,” I had to clarify for my son, who struggles with this painful segment of our history.
As a white mother, I feel the weight of responsibility to ensure that my children have diverse friendships and exposure to various cultures. We read books by authors like bell hooks and Dinah Johnson, and I actively seek to foster an understanding of cultural differences. Recently, while discussing classmates from my four-year-old son Leo’s YMCA class, he referred to one child as “furry head.” I paused, shocked, realizing how harmful such a label could be. “That’s not okay,” I told him. “It reduces his identity to an animalistic stereotype.” Though Leo shrugged it off, I worried about the impact on that child and his family.
Our challenges extend beyond race. As a Catholic family in a region where we are a minority, we must navigate our beliefs carefully. As homeschoolers, we often encounter families who may not share our values, and I’ve received curriculum recommendations that propagate harmful stereotypes and misinformation about various cultures.
Even in our secular homeschool group, a lesson once included outdated terminology that referred to black individuals as “Negros.” Thankfully, we missed that uncomfortable session, but it highlights the pervasive issues we face. Confronting racism requires us to challenge uncomfortable narratives, and that can be daunting, especially in South Carolina where such discussions are often met with resistance.
The political landscape here is equally fraught. Recently, I was cut off by a car sporting a Donald Trump bumper sticker, and when Oliver asked about him, I felt compelled to explain the divisive nature of his politics. At least now he expresses admiration for Bernie Sanders, believing in universal healthcare. I didn’t delve into the popularity of Trump; some truths are simply too heavy to bear.
The signs of local conservatism are everywhere—exclusive country clubs, a culture of privilege, and a sheriff’s department that spends exorbitantly on militarization. Conversations about immigration often devolve into rants against Hispanic communities, and I’ve observed how quickly people distance themselves from us once they learn about our progressive views.
Despite these challenges, we are drawn to the beauty of our surroundings, nestled between mountains and beaches, with access to a vibrant children’s museum and a welcoming climate. We cherish our liberal friends, often connecting through attachment parenting and university affiliations. While the presence of Confederate flags and outdated ideologies can be overwhelming, our love for this community drives us to stay and work for change.
In conclusion, raising children in a conservative area requires a delicate balance of education, openness, and vigilance. It’s a journey filled with both challenges and opportunities to instill values of inclusivity and understanding in our children.
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