Can you do self-insemination at home ?
My son has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), and honestly, it feels like a never-ending challenge that I wouldn’t wish on any parent. When things are good, they are truly wonderful, but when they take a turn for the worse, all I want to do is retreat to my bed and cry. He just turned 13, and along with the typical teenage mood swings, I also face a child who outright refuses to listen to me and constantly argues. It’s emotionally draining. I love him deeply, but I find it hard to like him at times. What kind of mother admits that? One who is utterly exhausted emotionally? That’s where I am, and I’m not sure what else to do.
Yes, we have sought counseling, both together and individually. My partner and I have worked with a therapist to learn effective parenting strategies to help mitigate these situations. They worked well when he was younger, but now that he’s older, he is relentless. He simply won’t budge. Kids with ODD often target someone—and that someone is me.
If he has a rough day at school, he comes home ready for a confrontation. It can be about something that happened months ago; if there’s an opportunity to argue, he seizes it. The most frustrating part is that I often engage in the battle. I grow weary of his endless back-and-forth. As a parent, I should be the one in control, yet it feels like he’s the one calling the shots. I know better than to engage, and the professionals advise me to take a deep breath and walk away. They suggest responses like, “I’m not discussing this right now; let’s talk when you’re calm.” That did work for a time, but now I just feel like screaming. Sometimes I do. It makes me feel like a terrible mother, as if I am failing at this whole parenting thing. This is not the experience I envisioned.
His attitude impacts the entire family dynamic. It’s like his negativity permeates our home. His siblings are also suffering; I often get so wrapped up in managing his behavior that I neglect their needs, which is unfair to them. They’re beginning to resent him—no one wants to listen to our arguments or deal with the mood he creates. They just want normalcy.
My relationship with him is far from normal at the moment. The hardest part is that he is aware of his actions. Sometimes he will storm off only to return minutes later to apologize, though often it’s just to get something he wants. His apologies aren’t always genuine; I can tell when he means it—his demeanor shifts, his face relaxes, and his voice becomes soft. Those genuine apologies can bring me to tears because I see glimpses of the son I love, the one who seems buried under this defiant persona. I miss him. I often wonder how I raised someone who seems to disregard my authority. I thought I was doing better than that.
ODD isn’t a choice; it’s a behavioral disorder. Deep down, I believe he doesn’t want to behave this way. His brain simply operates differently than mine. He reacts with anger and defiance in situations where I would just let it go. He struggles to walk away from conflict, and sometimes, he flat-out refuses to do so. That’s the most disheartening part. No matter how much I try to explain that his behavior hurts me and others, he just doesn’t relent. It feels as if he doesn’t care at all.
Despite all this, my son is exceptionally intelligent and handsome, which makes this struggle even more painful to admit. He needs my support, care, and love, and I provide all that willingly. I enjoy making his lunch and teasing his hair. I do his laundry and tidy up his room because I want to be the best mom possible. Yet, I find myself resenting his behavior. I feel as if I am to blame for it. Did I create a toxic environment? Does he truly not want to be around me? Will things ever improve? I pray about it daily.
It’s important to note that it’s not all bad. He can be fun and affectionate. He loves playing games and sharing stories about his interests. His laughter is infectious, and his bright green eyes light up my world. I yearn for more of those moments and for calm family time. My greatest wish is to understand the source of his anger, why he feels like I am ruining his life. My other children don’t feel this way; I know comparisons aren’t helpful, but parenting them feels completely different. He is truly the odd one out, and that breaks my heart.
Doctors have told me that many kids outgrow ODD and can become well-adjusted adults. Since he showed symptoms around age 10, I hold onto that hope. I’m relieved that this behavior is mostly confined to home and doesn’t manifest with teachers or other adults. I can handle it; this is what I signed up for. I know that life rarely goes according to plan.
He was my first child, the one who made me a mom. I’m grateful to him for that. He challenges and tests me, but he also loves me. I know that deep down. He’s just a kid who’s struggling and needs a mom to support him, not oppose him. I believe we can get through this together. I’m determined to stay the course. I need to disengage when necessary and focus on nurturing the best in him.
I refuse to give up on him. I just need to clear my head and remember not to argue. We both deserve more than this. I must be the example he needs, refusing to let myself feel like a victim. I aim to be the victor, guiding him through this struggle toward a brighter future—because my love for him is unwavering.
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Here are some related queries you might find helpful:
- Understanding Oppositional Defiant Disorder
- Parenting Strategies for ODD
- Coping with Teen Behavior
- How to Support Your Child with ODD
- Signs of Behavioral Disorders in Kids
In summary, parenting a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder can feel overwhelming, leading to emotional exhaustion and frustration. While the challenges can strain family dynamics, there are moments of joy and connection that remind us of the love we have for our children. With patience and the right support, it’s possible to navigate these difficult waters and find a path toward healing and understanding.