If you’re in a relationship with me, you’ll quickly learn that my obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety are part of the package. Here’s what you can anticipate:
- Repetitive Questions: I often find myself asking the same questions repeatedly. This isn’t a reflection of disbelief; it’s more about my need for reassurance and clarity.
- Irrational Fears: I grapple with phobias that can seem extreme. Whether it’s fear of car accidents, choking, illness, or even more tragic events, my anxiety amplifies these concerns.
- Panic Attacks: Suddenly, I might feel overwhelmed, my heart racing, and my body trembling. While I’ve learned strategies to cope, these episodes are still draining.
- Specific Eating Habits: My anxiety influences my eating, leading to trust issues with food. I often second-guess what I consume, worrying about potential allergies or whether I’ll like the taste.
- Handwashing Rituals: There’s a constant urge to wash my hands at certain times. If I skip a wash or don’t do it for an adequate duration, it can spiral into significant anxiety.
- Second-Guessing Decisions: A lack of trust in my judgment often leads to indecisiveness. I reflect on past mistakes, which makes future choices feel daunting.
- Reassurance Needed: During moments of heightened anxiety, hearing “It’s going to be okay” is crucial. Having a calm presence helps ground me when fears loom large.
- Frequent Apologies: I find myself apologizing often, wishing I could be more carefree. I strive for perfection and to please others but recognize that I’m a work in progress.
Living with OCD presents challenges that can be difficult for others to grasp, and even I sometimes struggle to understand myself. What I truly need is support from those who accept me as I am, quirks included. While I’m aware of my need for personal growth, I believe my positive traits—kindness, generosity, humor, and loyalty—outweigh the difficulties. My journey with OCD and anxiety is ongoing, but love and acceptance are vital for me to thrive.
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In summary, loving someone with OCD means embracing their complexities and providing unwavering support. It’s not just about understanding but about unconditional acceptance.