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How to Address Crude Humor with Young Boys
By: Jamie Collins
Updated: Aug. 17, 2018
In my home, surrounded by testosterone, it’s a daily adventure. It’s just me, my two sons, and my husband—oh, and our male dog. The environment is undeniably male-dominated, and the conversations often revolve around…well, you can guess. Although my kids are generally polite and well-mannered, the frequency of their discussions regarding their anatomy is astonishing. From amusing nicknames like “winky” and “big papi” to the infamous “Mom! He shook his dong at me!”—the humor is relentless.
It seems that the boys can’t go a moment without at least one hand in their pants, often approaching me with their requests while seemingly oblivious to the fact that they are, well, “adjusting” themselves. “I need $5 for school tomorrow,” my oldest, 12, informs me, oblivious to my scrunched-up face as I reply, “Not while your hand is down your pants.” This has become a nightly ritual.
While I appreciate a good laugh, this locker room banter can become overwhelming. At times, I feel dismissed and uncomfortable in my own home, as if my presence as a woman is overshadowed by the constant chatter about male anatomy. It’s a tough line to walk—how do I teach them about respect while also maintaining a sense of humor?
One particularly revealing weekend, I found myself at a fundraiser event, a VIP outing to The Chippendales. Surrounded by other moms, we shared our struggles with the crude humor our boys often displayed. To my relief, I found that I wasn’t alone; other moms echoed my frustrations. The consensus? We have to stand firm against this kind of talk.
After a family discussion about my discomfort, the crude humor subsided for a brief period, but it quickly returned. To tackle this ongoing issue, I decided to flip the script. The next time the topic arose, I joined in but introduced some balance by mentioning female anatomy in jest. “So does my vagina,” I shot back when one of my sons exclaimed about the squishiness of his “peepee.” The stunned silence that followed was priceless.
It’s frustrating that discussing women’s private parts feels more taboo, but this approach effectively curtailed the crude humor. I realized that teaching my sons about respect—especially towards women—is crucial as they grow up. What I initially viewed as a parenting challenge turned into an opportunity for valuable lessons.
As we’ve seen from the #MeToo movement, teaching boys to be respectful and aware of how their words affect others is essential. So, while the journey through locker room talk continues, I’ve learned to adapt and respond in ways that promote understanding and respect.
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Summary
In a household filled with boys, navigating locker room talk can be a challenge for mothers. While humor is often at the forefront, it’s essential to instill respect for women and awareness of how crude banter can affect others. By engaging in open discussions and flipping the script, moms can address awkward conversations while teaching valuable lessons about respect.