Navigating Life in the Middle East: A Parenting Perspective

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For the past six months living in Abu Dhabi, I’ve fallen into the same trap repeatedly. No, it’s not a wardrobe malfunction or an embarrassing faux pas—at least, I hope not. Instead, my blunder has led to my own bewilderment.

Here’s what happened: Earlier today, I gathered ingredients for a comforting chicken soup at the grocery store, then made my way to the cleaning supplies aisle to find laundry detergent, as we had run out. Although we send out most of our laundry, we still handle some at home. Without a dryer, it can be a challenge to hang everything on our tiny patio, especially with long work hours. Today, I was determined to wash our sheets and let them dry in the sun. After all, with the family battling colds, chicken soup and fresh linens were just what we needed.

I stood in front of the laundry cleaning products, contemplating my options. Each label proclaimed “softener” alongside Arabic text. Confused, I wondered if laundry detergent here is simply referred to as softener. It’s like saying “potato” while someone else says “Golden Russet”—a matter of perspective. But why did all these bottles feature images of babies? I guess the idea is that adult clothes should be as soft as baby garments. Clever marketing, for sure! But where are the options for plain-smelling detergent? Surely, this has to be a cultural quirk. People in this region love their fragrances and fancy perfumes. So, I opted for a bottle labeled “Eco-friendly for sensitive skin,” as we’ve been experiencing some rashes since our arrival. It resembled the product I bought months prior, so I felt confident.

I tossed it into my cart, still puzzled but relieved to have found something familiar. Just as I moved to the next aisle to explore lunch boxes—determined to prepare healthier meals for my son, Jake—I felt like a domestic goddess. I could navigate life in the UAE without a dryer. I had cracked the laundry code on my own! While some might have panicked, I embraced the ambiguity of softener versus detergent. I was ready to teach cultural sensitivity classes!

But then, I noticed a shocking revelation across the aisle: a plethora of actual laundry DETERGENTS—TIDE, ALL, and FAB—lined a shelf on the opposite side of the softeners. How did I miss that? Suddenly, it dawned on me that for six months, we’d been washing our clothes solely with fabric softener. No wonder we all sneezed when opening the washing machine and our skin felt itchy. I had been filling the detergent compartment with that liquid instead of using it sparingly.

Moreover, overusing fabric softener can actually harden your laundry. My socks had felt like sturdy footwear for months, and I’d wondered why.

Now, I am home with soup simmering on the stove and laundry in the washer using actual detergent. Yet, I can’t help but ponder what other misconceptions I might have. Did I really convince myself that all detergent in this part of the world was labeled as “softener” simply because that’s what I saw? What if I passed along this misinformation to fellow expats?

To newcomers, be cautious in the softener aisle. Rest assured, it’s just detergent by another name! The fragrance may be strong, but don’t hesitate to fill your machine and keep your family clean! What other enlightening discoveries await?

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Summary:

In a humorous account of adjusting to life in Abu Dhabi, a mother realizes she has mistakenly been using fabric softener instead of laundry detergent for months. The article touches on cultural differences in product labeling and highlights the importance of understanding local customs. Through her journey, the author reflects on the challenges of parenting and the little discoveries that come with living abroad.