As summer rolls in, many of us find ourselves welcoming our college-aged children back home for an extended stay. While it’s a joy to have them around, it’s also a prime opportunity to establish some ground rules for a peaceful coexistence.
Having spent nearly a year apart, you’ve likely grown accustomed to your own routines, and suddenly having your child back can disrupt that balance. The idea of setting boundaries may sound foreign, but it’s crucial for maintaining harmony in your household.
I first learned about the importance of boundaries during a mundane trip to the grocery store while listening to a talk show. The concept of “this is yours, this is mine, and here’s where we draw the line” struck a chord with me. However, I had never seriously considered how it applied to family life, especially since my husband and I married young and never prioritized establishing clear limits.
Throughout the years, we’ve shared everything — from our morning coffee to our living space, and even our illnesses. Our communication has been so intertwined that we often interrupt each other, calling it “interactive listening.” However, as our children entered their late teens and early twenties, things began to shift. They started to assert their independence and establish their own boundaries, often leaving us feeling bewildered.
This sudden influx of independence can feel one-sided. Our kids seem to set rules for us, and when we inadvertently cross those lines, it can feel like we’re infringing on their newfound adult lives. Meanwhile, they roam around the house with little regard for our own boundaries, creating a chaotic dynamic.
Guidelines for a Smoother Summer
To ensure a smoother summer, I’m implementing a few guidelines for everyone to follow:
- If you toss your laundry into my washing machine and it leads to a pile of clean clothes waiting to be folded, please fold them! I promise to reciprocate, and by summer’s end, I may just have folded more loads than anyone else in the house.
- If you come home to find the kitchen dark and the pots cold, feel free to whip up your own dinner. I might be out enjoying my own time.
- If you open the fridge looking for your specific snacks — like soy burgers or almond milk — don’t hesitate to make a trip to the grocery store. You can leave your receipt on the counter; I usually don’t keep those items around.
- Lastly, if my bedroom door is closed, it might mean I’m seeking a little peace. If there’s something on your mind — like a political debate — consider sending me a text or email instead; I promise to read it and respond thoughtfully.
To all the parents out there who find themselves running a makeshift Bed & Boundaries this summer, remember: “If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it’s probably your college student.”
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Summary
This article discusses the challenges and joys of having college students return home for the summer, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries to maintain a harmonious household. It provides practical tips for managing shared spaces and encourages open communication to foster a peaceful coexistence.