As a divorced mother of three who works full-time from home, I consider myself fortunate to have found a place of happiness, independence, and fulfillment in my life. Achieving this level of contentment has required immense effort, but it doesn’t mean I have everything figured out. With numerous tasks demanding my attention, I often find myself prioritizing based on urgency—usually waiting until something is on the verge of falling apart before I tackle it. It’s simply how I operate, and I’ve come to accept it.
Balancing work, motherhood, social life, and dating can make anyone feel scatterbrained. But honestly, I don’t have time to worry about appearances; I’m too busy living my life. As the head of my household, I strive to manage it all. It’s not about shortcuts; it’s a matter of survival. There are days when we run out of essential items like toilet paper because I got distracted while shopping, preoccupied with thoughts of car maintenance or picking ripe avocados for dinner. When my kids complain about the toilet paper situation, I hand them a napkin and remind myself that I’m still doing great—after all, those tacos are delicious!
In one amusing incident, I accidentally dozed off while my dating app was open, and my youngest child decided to “super swipe” a few potential matches. For those unfamiliar, a “super swipe” is a strong indication of interest, and it’s something most adults would avoid. But in that moment, I didn’t mind my child exploring my profile; the peace and quiet allowed me to catch up on much-needed rest. He got his fun, and I got my nap—everyone wins!
This wasn’t a low point or an embarrassing mishap; it’s simply my reality. As a divorced mom seeking financial stability and the occasional romantic connection, I’ve learned that it comes with challenges. Yet, the rewards of living authentically outweigh the costs. Yes, it can be tough and overwhelming; there are days when I wonder if I should solely focus on work and motherhood, neglecting my social life and self-care. But then I realize that this approach would be detrimental. My children deserve to see me as more than just a working mom; they need to see me happy.
I’ve accepted that I cannot survive on work and motherhood alone, even if it seems like a practical plan that would simplify my life (like skipping shaving my legs or buying fresh underwear). I willingly pay the price for fulfillment; I’ve let go of perfectionism. My life is often chaotic and messy. For instance, while I was engrossed in meeting a work deadline, my child asked to make a salad. I didn’t realize he was concocting a “chocolate salad” with candy bars meant for s’mores. In the end, he enjoyed his treat, and I finished my work. It’s all good; we’re fine.
Many divorced working moms overlook or dismiss certain aspects of life, but I strive to give my all to work, parenting, and relationships. I frequently stumble and that’s perfectly okay with me. I’d rather be busy and let my child indulge in chocolate than be overly structured and miserable, which would leave no room for self-care or socializing.
I may mix up my kids’ names, forget essentials like toilet paper, and occasionally vent my frustrations, but at least I’m enjoying the journey.
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Summary
Being a divorced working mom involves juggling numerous responsibilities, often leading to chaotic yet fulfilling moments. The balance of work, parenting, and self-care is challenging, but embracing imperfection and prioritizing happiness is essential for both personal well-being and setting a positive example for children.