Back in my high school and college days, I had mastered the art of doing nothing. Daily naps were a staple, along with lounging, snacking, chatting on the phone, and binge-watching MTV. I could easily spend half an hour gazing out the window, completely content. There was no rush to fill my time with activities; I enjoyed the simplicity of being idle.
As I transitioned into the workforce and adult responsibilities, I missed those afternoon naps, but I still made time for relaxation whenever I could. Even after a night of revelry, I would often find myself sprawled on the couch the next day, relishing in the sweet nothingness. I never felt guilty about my downtime; in fact, I had no desire to be busier. Multitasking was for those who thrived on chaos—something I had no interest in.
Then came motherhood, a whirlwind that thrust me into perpetual busyness. The responsibility of keeping little lives alive demands constant vigilance. Suddenly, multitasking became second nature, and I learned to juggle countless tasks at once. Every night, as I laid in bed, I would mentally prepare for the chaos of the next day, creating to-do lists in my head while desperately trying to relax. Sleep often eluded me as my mind raced through the endless tasks awaiting me once the sun rose again.
Motherhood didn’t just keep me physically busy; it occupied my mind as well. The challenge of truly losing myself in a book or enjoying a moment of peace became nearly impossible. Every spare moment was filled with the nagging thought of chores that needed doing—like prepping dinner or tackling the laundry—because when you have a chance to be productive, you seize it.
Over the years, I found myself addicted to this frenetic pace. With three kids born in quick succession, I adapted to the chaos, but it wore me out. Juggling so many tasks had become my norm, and now, with my children growing more independent, I feel a sense of loss. The quiet moments when my kids are off playing or spending the night elsewhere can feel strangely foreign, and I struggle to simply be.
I find myself filling the silence with distractions like TV, making grocery lists, or scrolling through social media, instead of embracing the stillness. I’ve become so accustomed to cramming tasks into every free moment that I’ve forgotten the art of mindfulness and completing a task from start to finish. Even now, as I write this while devouring lunch, I realize I often create my own busyness. I genuinely don’t remember how to relax, and it frustrates me.
Maybe I just need to practice more. Just as it took years to adjust to the whirlwind of motherhood, perhaps it will take time to relearn the skill of relaxation. I should start with something small, like taking a nap. But of course, that’s only after I make that vet appointment and download the new book I keep meaning to read. Oh, and let’s not forget the recipe my friend sent over that I’m eager to try, plus I really need to get ahead on the laundry. Yes, perhaps once I check off those items, I can begin to rediscover how to unwind.
For anyone navigating a similar journey, it’s essential to seek balance and don’t forget to embrace those moments of quiet. Resources like the Intrauterine Insemination offer useful insights into starting or expanding your family, and for those considering home insemination, the Impregnator at Home Insemination Kit can be a valuable tool. Additionally, check out Oliver, Alex, and Mia’s Journey Through IVF to gain perspective on the fertility journey.
Summary:
As children grow more independent, many parents find themselves grappling with the shift from constant busyness to moments of stillness. Rediscovering how to relax and embrace solitude can feel daunting, especially for those accustomed to a hectic lifestyle. With practice and the right resources, it’s possible to find a balance between productivity and peace.