When my youngest daughter, Mia, was sent to the principal’s office during preschool, I sensed that our journey through kindergarten would be anything but ordinary. Let’s be honest, she’s the epitome of a free-spirited child. I adore her zest for life, her infectious laughter, and her endless curiosity. However, she has never been one to follow the rules—something that has defined her five years of existence.
We’ve certainly made efforts to guide her behavior, establishing boundaries and expectations, and implementing reward systems. While she’s shown some progress, it’s hard not to think that if she were our first child, she might have been our last.
The first day of kindergarten was fairly typical for us. I felt a wave of emotions as I dropped her off, while Mia buzzed with excitement. It was a significant moment, the last time I would drop off a child at this stage. But overall, it felt like a day like any other.
However, picking her up was a different story. At Mia’s school, they use a clip chart system to monitor behavior, which has proven effective. Each child starts the day ready to learn, with the potential to move up or down based on their actions. Unsurprisingly, Mia went down on her first day, and her teacher greeted me with that familiar, sympathetic smile that only kindergarten teachers possess. “We had a bit of a tough day,” she said kindly. “Let’s try again tomorrow.”
I soon learned that Mia had plummeted to just above the dreaded “process” level, which, according to my other children, was the worst fate imaginable in their school. My oldest child, Lucy, now 12, has never received a “process,” nor has my middle child, Ethan, who is 9. But by the second week, I found a process form in Mia’s backpack, detailing her talking out of turn and stepping out of line—classic Mia. One question on the form stood out: “How do you feel about what happened?” Mia’s response? “I feel good.”
In that moment, I was hit with a realization: perhaps I was raising a little troublemaker.
This experience made me question our parenting. Were we too lenient? Should we have been stricter? Maybe there’s a toddler boot camp we missed out on. But at home, Mia isn’t that difficult—at least, I didn’t think so. Yet, once she’s with other adults or children, something changes. It’s as if a full moon has transformed her into a different creature.
We exchanged several emails with Mia’s teacher, trying to establish a consistent set of rules at home that mirrored those at school. We aimed to encourage better behavior, but our efforts felt futile. I began to wonder if we were cut out for this parenting thing.
Then, Mia’s teacher introduced a fantastic idea: a game called “Beat The Teacher.” Each day, they would fill out a simple chart where they both earned smiley faces for good behavior. The teacher, it seems, often “loses” on purpose, and each day Mia comes home thrilled to show me her “Beat The Teacher” form, proudly announcing her victories and recounting the good choices she made that day. Her clip on the chart moves up too.
I can’t predict how long this game will capture her interest, but for now, it’s a welcome change. Sending a spirited child to kindergarten is undeniably nerve-wracking, and I imagine it will remain that way throughout Mia’s life.
What stands out is the impact a caring teacher can have. By stepping outside the conventional methods and trying something new, Mia’s teacher has made a significant difference in her experience. I’m grateful for her creativity and willingness to adapt.
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In summary, embracing the chaos of raising a wild child in kindergarten can be daunting, but with the right support and strategies, it becomes a manageable and rewarding adventure.