It’s tough when my husband, Jake, is away on business trips. I’m not referring to the brief moments he’s out running errands or at work; I mean the extended periods when he’s traveling for work.
Do I have the capability to manage things on my own? Absolutely! Am I resilient? Without a doubt! Am I independent? You bet! Yet, even with all my strengths, I still feel a sense of emptiness when he’s not around. My partner, my support system, and my closest friend are often hundreds or even thousands of miles away for days, weeks, or sometimes months. As part of a military family, this separation is common, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
When Jake is home, his presence serves as a solid support system and a co-pilot in our journey through marriage and parenting. While I handle the day-to-day management of our household, his absence is felt more deeply on an emotional level, which can be hard to bear alone.
I’m the organizer of schedules, planner of activities, and the backbone that keeps our family functioning. Although we share responsibilities, I often find myself taking charge because, frankly, I excel at managing our household. The unseen efforts that occupy my time and energy might not always be recognized, but I take pride in wearing this role as a badge of honor.
We both have our unique strengths. Jake is the grill master, the handyman, and the go-to for tasks on his “honey-do” list. He’s the brave one who deals with the big bugs, while I’m left to handle the spiders since he can’t stand them. Yes, he helps with cooking, cleaning, and even diaper duty, while I focus on ensuring we have essentials and packing school lunches like a pro. We divide tasks in a way that works best for us, but when he’s away, the weight of responsibility falls heavily on my shoulders.
Without him, I assume the role of everything: caregiver, provider of comfort, and enforcer of security. The absence of support can lead to feelings of anxiety that I don’t usually experience when he’s home. Suddenly, I find myself overwhelmed with “what if” scenarios—what if I oversleep and miss our son’s school drop-off, or what if I face a flat tire on the freeway with the kids? The constant worry can be draining.
Even though I’ve proven my ability to manage everything on my own multiple times, the mental strain can sometimes feel insurmountable. I’m not just keeping everyone alive; I’m also absorbing all the fears and worries while striving to offer my children love and security. My heart aches when my kids ask for their dad, not fully comprehending why he isn’t around. In those moments, it takes every bit of my strength not to break down alongside them.
As the evenings settle in and the children drift off to sleep, the loneliness can be overwhelming. But I remind myself that this situation is temporary. To keep spirits high, I bend the rules and indulge in treats like ice cream and cupcakes, hoping to provide a comforting distraction for my little ones until Jake returns, and our family feels complete again.
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Summary:
Managing life independently while a spouse is away for work can be challenging, especially when you’re a parent. The emotional burden can feel heavy, but finding ways to cope and support your family during these times can help alleviate some of the loneliness and anxiety.