Lauren Bell is here to remind mothers that it’s perfectly fine to focus on themselves from time to time. In a candid conversation on the motherhood-centric podcast Perelel Lives, the former reality star and entrepreneur shares her experience of feeling like she lost her identity after welcoming her now 4-year-old son, Ethan. Bell, who also has a 2-year-old daughter, Mia, with her husband Jake Foster, expressed uncertainty about when she would feel like her old self again. “I often wondered, am I just a new human now?” she confided to host Alex Taylor. “Someone once told me, ‘It’s going to take a year to feel like yourself again, but it’ll be a new and improved version of you. You created a new life, and that’s a big deal.’ She was right; it took about a year for me to start feeling like myself again.”
The 36-year-old noted that while many people prepared her for the “exciting” aspects of motherhood, they often neglected to mention the emotional hurdles tied to postpartum life and the challenge of redefining one’s identity. “It’s like this unspoken game women play because we know it’s worth it, but we can’t always articulate that to others,” she said. “I had friends who shared just enough; they gave me practical tips and were there to support me afterward.” She added, “The emotional transition was really tough.”
Bell, who acknowledges her privilege in being able to work remotely and spend ample time with her children, shared her controversial view on the importance of “me time.” “I’m completely okay with being away from my kids for a couple of days,” she revealed. “I don’t do it often, especially recently, but before the pandemic, I would travel to the city every couple of months for a few days of work and enjoy some personal time. It’s refreshing to step away from that role, even briefly, to reconnect with yourself.”
Reflecting on her decision with Foster to have two children, Bell expressed contentment with their family dynamic. Although she understands that many women tend to forget the challenging aspects of pregnancy and early motherhood, she made a conscious effort to savor every moment during her second pregnancy. “We knew we wanted just two kids, which made it easier,” she shared. “I wasn’t one of those women who loved being pregnant. Even amidst the challenges, I found comfort in knowing this would be the last time I experienced this.”
Lauren Bell’s honesty about the struggles of motherhood is refreshing, especially since the reality of parenting often goes unspoken. Motherhood is both beautiful and difficult, and it can profoundly affect one’s sense of self.
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