Holidays can be particularly challenging for families with children on the autism spectrum. Combine time away from school, noisy relatives, enticing smells from the kitchen, and food that may not suit your child’s sensory preferences, and you have a potential recipe for chaos. As a parent of two 14-year-old boys with autism, I’ve faced numerous holiday gatherings. Christmas, in particular, can be less than accommodating for those with autism. However, we’ve managed to keep our spirits high, and here are some strategies to help make your holiday season a bit brighter.
Arrive Early to Get Settled
Getting to your destination before the crowd can help ease the transition for your child. Allowing your child time to explore the new environment and find a comfortable spot can make a world of difference. For my sons, adjusting from the car to Grandma’s kitchen can take some time. Ensure you don’t rush this transition.
Bring Familiar Foods
It’s essential to bring along food your child will eat. For us, this typically means a simple fruit salad—nothing fancy or overwhelming. In the past, we’ve brought entire meals, including lunch meats and homemade chicken nuggets, to ensure my boys have something acceptable to eat. It may not be traditional holiday fare, but it keeps the peace.
Consider Hosting the Holiday
Hosting can be more expensive but offers significant benefits. By holding the gathering at our home, I can avoid worrying about my kids breaking valuables or wandering off. It also provides a safe space where they can play with their favorite toys or games, making the environment more comfortable for everyone.
Provide Activities to Keep Kids Engaged
Having games or activities available can be a lifesaver. We often bring our Wii console, which allows my children to engage in something familiar while others socialize. This helps alleviate overstimulation and keeps them entertained.
Designate a Quiet Eating Area
Plan for your child to eat in a quieter space away from the holiday bustle. Whether it’s a designated room or even a small nook, having a peaceful spot can help alleviate stress. I know of families whose kids found solace in eating cereal in a pantry during mealtime chaos.
Maintain Routine as Much as Possible
The holiday season can disrupt regular schedules, leading to increased anxiety. Try to keep routines consistent wherever feasible. For instance, during one holiday, I took my son for a quick drive to complete our recycling. It was a familiar task that brought him comfort amidst the chaos.
Communicate Your Needs to Loved Ones
Don’t hesitate to inform family and friends about what you need to make the gathering smoother. Whether it’s a quieter space, extra assistance, or understanding when things become overwhelming, most people are willing to help when they know what’s needed.
Be Prepared for Quick Exits
Recognize when it’s time to leave a gathering if things become too overwhelming. It’s more beneficial to leave before reaching a breaking point. Prioritize your family’s comfort, even if it means departing earlier than others.
Practice Gratitude
Amidst the stress, it’s important to appreciate the time spent together. Celebrate the small victories—like a successful nap or a moment of laughter. Focus on the positive memories, even if they include moments like your child snatching a roll from a relative’s plate.
At the end of the day, remember to unwind. Pour yourself a glass of wine and take a moment for yourself; you’ve earned it.
In conclusion, navigating the holidays with autism in the family requires preparation, patience, and a sense of humor. With the right strategies, you can create a joyful environment for everyone involved.
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