As I was preparing for an important business trip, my husband dropped a bombshell: he wanted a divorce. In that moment, I felt a mix of devastation and relief. Just three months prior, this news would have sent me spiraling into a state of fear. The change? After years of being a stay-at-home mom, I had finally secured a decent job. In 2016, the financial implications of divorce remain a significant concern, especially for moms who have dedicated years to parenting at home.
Typically, couples enter marriage with the hope that their union will last forever. Likewise, few mothers embark on parenthood with the desire to become single parents. As I stood there, stunned, I realized I was facing the end of my marriage.
However, being a working mom during this challenging period has provided me with a sense of stability amidst the chaos. First and foremost, I am assured that I can provide for my children, even if our living situation may not be ideal for a while. Second, my job offers a welcome distraction from the overwhelming thoughts of what-ifs and blame. It allows me to immerse myself in my work, providing my heart with a much-needed break.
Had I still been a stay-at-home mom when I received that news, I genuinely don’t know how I would have coped. I often hear tales of women finding their strength and resilience to rebuild their lives post-divorce, and I sometimes wonder if I possess that same inner fortitude. Self-doubt creeps in, whispering that I might not be strong enough to navigate this path.
My children are witnessing this upheaval, which adds another layer of complexity. I strive to maintain composure in front of them, speaking with respect and kindness toward their father, despite the pain it brings me. My employment gives me the opportunity to model resilience and strength for them. “I am me, and I’m a strong mother,” I remind myself.
At night, as I lie awake thinking about the tasks ahead, I often have to remind myself to breathe and remain strong. I don’t always feel capable, and there are moments when I long to crumble under the weight of it all. The internal dialogue of fear, love, and sadness often drowns out any sense of assurance I might have.
Each morning, I rise, dress for work, prepare lunches, and kiss my kids goodbye. I march on, grateful for the regular paycheck that will soon be deposited into my account. With a bit of determination and time, I hope to find a smaller, more affordable home where I can show my children that I am indeed resilient.
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In summary, while the journey through divorce is undeniably challenging, being a working mom has armed me with the strength and determination I need to face this new chapter in my life.