When it comes to being naked in front of our children, my partner Jack and I have fundamentally different perspectives. For me, being open about our bodies is natural. For him, however, nudity is a private matter. This divergence creates contrasting messages for our children, and like every aspect of parenting, we hope to strike the right balance.
I grew up in a liberal Jewish household, where nudity was commonplace. My father, with his large, hairy frame, was often seen around the house in various states of undress. I vividly remember my initial reactions to his body; as a young girl, I found it rather grotesque, likening it to an elephant’s trunk. Meanwhile, my mother would assure me, “It’s just a body.” She would sometimes walk around in her underwear, joking about the changes her body had undergone. To me, she was beautiful, even if she didn’t share the same sentiment.
In contrast, Jack hails from a conservative Christian family where nudity was considered taboo. The concept of being naked in front of family members was simply not discussed. Fast forward to today, we have two young daughters, Mia, age 6, and Lily, age 4, and our differing views are more pronounced than ever.
I often walk around our home without clothes. I’m not trying to make a statement; I just don’t feel the need to cover up when my daughters enter the room. Recently, during a shower with Lily, our conversation took a humorous turn:
Lily: “Will I have booobies?” (pointing at mine and giggling)
Me: “They’re called breasts, and yes, you will!”
Lily: “Eww, I don’t want them!”
Me: “Those are called nipples.”
Lily: “Oh, right! That’s where milk comes from!”
Me: “Exactly, it’s fascinating!”
Lily: “Your tummy is big!”
Me: “Things can look bigger from your angle!”
When she commented on my stomach, I instinctively made a joke to deflect, but I also wanted to validate her observation. If I had insisted, “No, it’s not big,” it might have dismissed her feelings. If I had agreed and said, “Yes, I should work out more,” it could send a harmful message about body image.
Jack, on the other hand, prefers to keep things private. He locks the bathroom door when he showers, determined to maintain a boundary he feels is necessary for the girls’ well-being. The girls have never seen him without a towel, and when I explain that “Daddy needs privacy,” they giggle and often comment, “He’s nakey!”
Growing up with brothers, nudity and bodily functions were just part of life for me. My friends, who didn’t have such exposure, were often fascinated by my brothers. I wonder if my approach might lead to curiosity about nudity and bodies for Mia and Lily. Will my open attitude result in them being more curious about the unknown?
It would be great if there were a definitive guide on how to approach nudity in parenting, ensuring that children grow up comfortable in their own skin. But, as with all aspects of parenting, it’s a trial-and-error process. Here’s hoping we navigate this successfully!
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Summary:
In this article, Emma discusses the contrasting views on nudity between her and her partner Jack as they navigate parenting their daughters, Mia and Lily. Emma’s upbringing in an open household contrasts sharply with Jack’s conservative background. The article explores their differing approaches to nudity and the messages they aim to send their children while emphasizing the complexities of parenting decisions.