When I welcomed my daughter into the world, everything seemed to fall perfectly into place. The labor was swift, my contractions were manageable, and my little girl was healthy, with soft skin and strong lungs. It was the kind of birth every mother dreams of, supported by attentive doctors who respected my wishes.
The best part? My daughter was a content baby. She nursed effortlessly, latching on almost the moment I held her against my chest. I thought breastfeeding would be a breeze. However, a few weeks in, everything changed. The bond we shared during those early days began to shift, and I found myself grappling with anxiety.
You may think feeling overwhelmed is just part of new parenthood. After all, parenting is challenging and breastfeeding can be tough, especially with the fatigue that comes with those first few weeks. But what I was experiencing went beyond typical exhaustion; I was dealing with a condition called D-MER, or dysphoric milk ejection reflex.
D-MER is not widely recognized, and many are unaware of it. According to D-MER.org, a site run by lactation consultant Alia Macrina Heise, this condition involves sudden negative emotions that occur right before milk letdown, lasting no more than a few minutes. In simpler terms, D-MER triggers distressing feelings during breastfeeding.
Heise notes that while D-MER can manifest differently for each mother, the common thread is a wave of negative emotions prior to the letdown. For me, it felt like my stomach dropped. As the milk surged forward, I was overtaken by a wave of sadness, feeling detached and terrified of an unseen threat.
Fortunately, these feelings were fleeting, typically lasting only a few minutes. But during that brief time, I felt like I was losing control of my own body, trembling and nauseated. It was terrifying.
How to Manage D-MER
So, how did I find a way to manage D-MER? Here are some effective strategies for coping if you want to continue breastfeeding:
- Acknowledge Your Emotions: Understanding D-MER is crucial. By recognizing the connection between your physical sensations and emotional responses, you can prepare for these moments. My daughter nursed every two hours, and when I felt anxious, I would glance at the clock. Knowing that a letdown was imminent helped me brace myself. Counting down the seconds became my anchor, even if it felt like an eternity.
- Keep Busy: Divert your focus by engaging your hands or yourself in activities like snacking, exercising, or using fidget tools. Even if it seems trivial, having a snack while feeding your baby can create a distraction. If you’re not settled, try moving around to burn off that nervous energy.
- Practice Relaxation: Techniques such as meditation and deep breathing can be beneficial. If meditation isn’t your strength, consider using guided sessions from apps like Calm, Headspace, or 10% Happier to center your mind.
- Use the ABC Method for Anxiety: Choose a broad category—like animals, foods, or colors—and mentally list them in alphabetical order. This exercise can help distract you from negative feelings as you work through the list.
- Reach Out: Text a friend or make a call. Connecting with someone can alleviate feelings of isolation, which are common among new parents.
- Remember It’s Temporary: You’ve faced these feelings before and can navigate them again. Take it one moment at a time.
However, if D-MER becomes overwhelming or persists, it’s essential to consult your OBGYN or a mental health professional, as these symptoms might indicate a more significant perinatal mood disorder. For additional context around this topic, you can visit this link for more insights or check out WebMD for valuable pregnancy resources.
In summary, experiencing D-MER can be distressing for breastfeeding mothers, but acknowledging your feelings and employing coping strategies can make a significant difference. It’s vital to remember that seeking help is always an option.