In the wake of yet another tragic mass shooting at an elementary school, it’s vital for us to engage our children in conversations about the police—those who are meant to protect them but sometimes fail in that duty.
When I was a child, the first emergency number I memorized was 999, the police contact in England. Society instills in us the belief that when a crisis occurs—like a serious accident or a violent act—officers in uniform will rush to our aid. We teach this to our kids from a very young age, yet recent events, such as the horrific incident at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, challenge that narrative.
The facts surrounding Uvalde are so shocking that they’re hard to even articulate. During the active shooting, desperate children inside classrooms made multiple calls for help, yet those pleas were ignored. In a shocking revelation, 19 officers waited in the hallway for over 45 minutes before confronting the shooter, a decision later condemned as a “wrong decision” by Steven C. McCraw, the director of the Texas Department of Public Safety.
For many, these details are incomprehensible, but they resonate deeply with Black and Hispanic families who have long highlighted the failures of law enforcement. The community impacted in Uvalde is largely composed of Hispanic, blue-collar families who have voiced concerns about the disconnect between police forces and the communities they serve.
Reflecting on Uvalde, I realized my own experiences have not fully shaken my earlier belief that help is always just a call away. After the September 11 attacks, I faced increased scrutiny due to my name and appearance. My brother, who is darker-skinned, endured racial profiling while using public transport. We were fortunate that such encounters did not escalate further.
Before the Uvalde shooting, I had a friend embroiled in a disagreement with her mother-in-law over the kids’ show “Paw Patrol,” which glorifies police as heroic figures. My friend, a queer woman deeply aware of police biases against her community, is adamant about not exposing her child to any representation of law enforcement that doesn’t acknowledge their flaws. This difference in perspectives created friction, particularly as her mother-in-law, raised to respect authority, struggled to understand her viewpoint.
Comedian DJ Pryor, a father of three, also grapples with these challenges. Upon learning about the Uvalde tragedy, he found himself answering tough questions from his 11-year-old son about police inaction. He advises parents to explain that not everyone in uniform approaches their role with a servant’s heart. His own upbringing in a disadvantaged neighborhood exposed him to the harsher realities of law enforcement, contrasting sharply with the respect his grandparents had for police.
How to Communicate About Law Enforcement
So how can we effectively communicate about the complexities of law enforcement to our children? Pediatric psychologist Ann-Louise Lockhart suggests that children are very literal thinkers and may not grasp abstract concepts like police brutality. Instead, parents should focus on practical conversations, paying attention to their children’s cues about how much information they want.
Lockhart emphasizes the importance of tailoring discussions based on the child’s age and personality, highlighting that what is appropriate for one child may not be for another. It’s crucial for parents to be mindful of their own feelings and reactions before engaging with their kids to avoid overwhelming them with too much information.
As uncomfortable as it is to address these discrepancies, embracing the complexity of these discussions is essential for our children’s understanding of the world. We must approach this with compassion for ourselves and our children, fostering a nuanced conversation about law enforcement that reflects both its potential for good and its failures.
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In summary, navigating conversations about the police with children in the aftermath of tragic events requires sensitivity, awareness, and a willingness to engage with difficult realities. By fostering open dialogues and being attuned to their needs, we can help our children understand the complexities of law enforcement in a way that is age-appropriate and constructive.