“You don’t sound like yourself lately, and I’m genuinely concerned about you.” My friend’s voice rang through the speaker as I listened to her voicemail in the kitchen, staring at the daunting pile of mail that I had carelessly stuffed into a drawer. Once, I had tackled my correspondence promptly, but now, it felt like an insurmountable task, just like everything else in my life.
I had never received a message like that before. Typically a joyful person, I had been experiencing unsettling mood swings for months without understanding why. The realization frightened me. I never voiced my feelings, not even when I found myself on a run one morning, nearly sideswiped by a car, thinking, “Does it even matter what happens to me?”
In the past, such close calls would have sent my heart racing, and I would have been furious at the driver. But the old me was gone, replaced by a version of myself that felt either anxious or completely numb. My appetite had vanished, and I would push myself to engage in activities I once cherished, only to find no joy in them. Even my children noticed the change.
That was a year ago. At the time, I attributed my feelings to the long winter and dreary spring. I would linger in the shower, dreading the thought of getting dressed or taking my kids to school. Yet, those feelings would eventually ebb, and I’d feel somewhat like my old self — the active, fun-loving mom who enjoyed cookie-eating contests with her kids. However, these mood swings left me feeling disoriented and powerless, always fearing the return of those dark clouds that loomed over me, making even simple tasks seem overwhelming.
Conversations with friends in the same life stage revealed that I was not alone in this struggle. We were all navigating perimenopause, seemingly content with our relationships and careers, yet perplexed by the toll it was taking on our mental health. Information on this topic was scarce, further heightening our confusion.
Jennifer Lee, a leading expert at the Women’s Mood Disorders Center at a prominent university, shed light on the issue in a recent NPR article. She emphasized the importance of recognizing serious symptoms. “If you’re experiencing severe depression that affects your daily functioning, or if you’re having suicidal thoughts, seeking treatment is crucial,” she explained.
Women who have previously battled anxiety or depression, including postpartum challenges, are at a heightened risk during this hormonal transition leading up to menopause. For me, anxiety had always been manageable, a driving force that helped me accomplish tasks. But now, everything felt different.
It was as if I was perpetually experiencing PMS — irritable, hungry, teary-eyed, and overwhelmed by daily responsibilities. Those around me seemed oblivious to my internal turmoil, while I struggled to focus on simple tasks without feeling irritated by the slightest noise.
NPR reported that a significant percentage of women — around 18% in early perimenopause and 38% later on — experience depressive symptoms. Anxiety, too, tends to spike during this transitional period, leading to panic attacks for many. Hormonal shifts are not the only culprits; many women also face life changes such as children leaving home, marital issues, or career shifts, all contributing to this emotional upheaval.
Unfortunately, healthcare providers often lack adequate training in addressing these concerns, making it essential for women to advocate for themselves. The best course of action is to maintain open communication with your healthcare professional and consider treatment options, including therapy or medication.
Ultimately, women in perimenopause must be vigilant about their mental health. Documenting symptoms can be helpful, and talking about feelings can lead to improvements, as therapy has shown promise for many. If you find yourself struggling with mood swings that feel unmanageable, seek out the help you need to rediscover your best self during this challenging time.
As for me, I began therapy, incorporated a Vitamin D supplement into my routine, and recognized the importance of fresh air and exercise to maintain my emotional balance. I also learned to step back from overwhelming situations, allowing myself the grace to take breaks instead of engaging in self-criticism. Change is a natural part of life, and while I may not be the same person I once was, I refuse to suffer in silence. There is help available, and waiting to seek it is not an option — after all, if you broke your arm, you wouldn’t just let it heal on its own, would you?
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Summary
The journey through perimenopause can trigger anxiety and depression in many women, often without prior warning. It’s essential to recognize symptoms, seek help, and communicate openly with healthcare providers. Embracing change and prioritizing mental health can lead to a more manageable experience during this transitional period.