This whole saga began when I found myself browsing for intimate items on Amazon. It’s hard to deny the convenience of shopping for such goodies online. Between the variety, Prime delivery, and Amazon’s endless reach, it’s practically the go-to place for personal pleasure products.
I was particularly intrigued by ben wa balls. I had heard they could not only assist with pelvic floor strength post-childbirth but also provide a pleasurable experience—especially if they vibrated. And if they featured remote control? Well, that was a recipe for fun! I chose a model that, while marketed for bladder support, clearly had other purposes in mind. It boasted a little wand designed for more than just pelvic floor engagement, vibrated, and came with a remote. I tossed it in the cart, confident my husband would finalize the purchase.
The Mix-Up
On the same day my husband was shopping for my new toys, he also picked out a birthday gift for his mother, who recently turned 74. Happy birthday, dear mother-in-law! He had the present sent directly to her with an adorable Amazon gift bag and a note that read something like, “WE LOVE YOU!!! — YOUR SON AND DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, WHO HAVE NO NAMES, AND AN INDETERMINATE NUMBER OF CHILDREN.”
Shortly after placing the order for my ben wa balls, my husband realized a nightmare scenario had unfolded. He hadn’t updated the shipping address. My new toys were headed straight to my mother-in-law’s house, arriving via same-day delivery. They weren’t just any toys—they were subtle enough to raise eyebrows and possibly lead to family drama.
The Desperate Attempt to Intercept
In a panic, my husband called his most trusted sibling, who lived near my mother-in-law. “I need a favor! I accidentally had sex toys sent to Mom’s place. They’re being delivered today. Can you intercept the package?” His sibling couldn’t stop laughing but was unfortunately out of town. Next, he reached out to his other sibling, who was equally busy and refused to help.
With no other options, he decided to come clean to his mother. “There’s an Amazon package heading your way. It’s for us, but please don’t open it.”
Cue immediate suspicion from his mother. “What’s in it? Why can’t I open it?”
It was a total tactical error. Instead of downplaying it, he panicked. “It’s nothing. Just don’t open it.”
From there, things escalated. She put him on speakerphone, and suddenly, my father-in-law was involved too. The conversation quickly turned chaotic, with both parents questioning what could possibly be in the box.
“Did they send you drugs?” she exclaimed. “What is it? Is it illegal?”
It was comical and terrifying all at once. Thankfully, my father-in-law stepped in, urging her not to open it. He took control of the situation, securing the package in the guest bedroom until we could retrieve it during our next visit.
The Aftermath
And so, the box of my new toys awaited us, unopened. I lived in a constant state of anxiety, hoping my mother-in-law wouldn’t decide to investigate it herself.
If you’re curious about similar mishaps or want tips on navigating delicate family situations, check out this blog post on home insemination, which also discusses some interesting related topics. For additional insights into family planning and related issues, this resource from the CDC is excellent.
If you’re interested in accidents like these, you can find more at Intracervical Insemination.
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Summary:
This humorous tale recounts the chaos that ensued when intimate items accidentally shipped to a mother-in-law’s address. After a series of frantic phone calls and comedic misunderstandings, a family member intervened to save the day, preventing potential embarrassment. The story serves as a light-hearted reminder of the importance of double-checking shipping addresses.