It was Monday morning at 7:15 a.m., and my 12-year-old son, Jake, was still tucked away in bed. His younger sisters were already up, grumbling about the cereal options, while my partner, Emily, was nearly ready for her teaching day. I was frantically trying to get everyone out the door so I could head to work, but Jake was resolutely refusing to budge. I’ll admit, I lost my patience for a moment.
I marched into his room, flipped on the light, and launched into a mini lecture. I told him he was holding up the entire family and that the real world wouldn’t tolerate such behavior. Yet, he simply pulled his blanket over his head and groaned in response. “You’d better be out of that bed in the next two minutes,” I warned, trying to sound authoritative, but honestly, I was too exhausted to think of a proper consequence. So, I just let the threat hang in the air and left the room.
This isn’t exactly a new scenario for us. Jake is always the last one to rise, but we typically manage to get him out of bed by 7 a.m. from Tuesday to Friday. Mondays, though? That’s another story. It’s wild how his reluctance usually kicks off on Saturday night when he starts lamenting the impending school week. By Sunday, he’s practically dreading it, and by Monday morning, it’s a full-blown anxiety that keeps him glued to his bed.
There have been times when we’ve contemplated letting him stay home to avoid the morning battle, but I know that isn’t the way to teach him about responsibility. Honestly, this past Monday, I was just fed up. I was tired of turning on his light, of pulling his covers, and of yelling, “Are you up yet?” until my voice was hoarse.
In many ways, this is a classic “preteen” issue. I remember being the same way at 12, and I suspect I’ll soon face this challenge with my younger daughters. But there’s one aspect I often overlook in these moments: my own struggles with Mondays. I find myself dreading the workweek too, starting that dread as early as Saturday. When Jake drags his feet, it only amplifies my own frustrations, making it harder for me to be the patient parent he needs.
When I reflect on this, I realize I hold Jake to a higher standard than I hold myself. I’m supposed to teach him how to tackle Mondays, yet I don’t feel motivated myself until a few decades of obligations have conditioned me to accept them. It’s as if I’m expecting him to manage feelings that even adults can struggle with. We all know that Mondays have had a bad rap for ages, and letting my son stay in bed won’t make them go away.
Sometimes as parents, we become frustrated with our children for mirroring our own traits. We forget that they, too, need understanding, especially when dealing with something as universally disliked as Mondays. It can take years for some people to learn to cope with that Monday dread, and yelling at them first thing only adds to the stress.
I wish I could say I figured all this out on my own, but I didn’t. As I was leaving Jake’s room, my partner, Emily, caught me in the hallway and said, “You’re not great at Mondays either. Maybe you should cut the kids some slack.” She reminded me that Jake had been dreading school all weekend, and suddenly, I realized I was pushing him to “toughen up” when what he really needed was empathy.
So, I went back into his room and said, “Hey, buddy. You’ve got to work on this Monday thing. But I want you to know that I hate Mondays too. That’s probably why I get so frustrated when you don’t get out of bed.”
He paused for a moment, still cocooned in his blanket, and then asked something that caught me off guard: “You hate Mondays, too?”
I chuckled and admitted that many people do, but you still have to get up in the morning. “Mondays don’t go away, I’m afraid.”
He finally poked his head out, tousled hair and all, let out a half-hearted moan, and eventually climbed out of bed. I think all he needed was to realize that he wasn’t alone in hating Mondays; even Dad struggles with them. I remembered that a little empathy can go a long way in parenting.
For more insights on parenting and navigating challenges like this, check out this other post here. If you’re interested in health resources, Healthline offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination, which can be a helpful read.
In summary, dealing with a tween’s reluctance on Mondays can be tough, but recognizing our shared struggles can foster understanding and patience. A little empathy can go a long way in helping our kids face their challenges.