By: Emma Sinclair
In my pre-motherhood days, I openly criticized mothers who continued to breastfeed their toddlers. I was unaware that a child transitions into a “toddler” upon reaching their first birthday. My perception was that breastfeeding was strictly for infants, while those who could walk or talk seemed too mature for such an act. But then, life changed, and I became that mother myself.
Before embracing motherhood, my views on child-rearing were vastly different. The profound commitment and the accompanying anxiety of caring for a child are feelings that cannot be fully understood until you experience them firsthand. I realize now how misguided my judgments were toward other mothers. The needs of a young child are paramount; they demand immediate attention, regardless of the hour. Their innocence and dependency make it clear that they rely on us for everything, including nourishment, and as the breastfeeding parent, that responsibility often falls squarely on your shoulders. Although I did pump occasionally for my partner to feed our child, that too is a considerable investment of time.
The stress that arises from knowing a child’s well-being depends entirely on you is overwhelming. As they continue to grow, fresh worries emerge. Yet, through it all, breastfeeding serves as a protective measure; it conveys essential antibodies and provides balanced nutrition. The Mayo Clinic indicates that extended breastfeeding—nursing beyond the first year—can lower the risks of various health issues, including breast cancer and diabetes. Given the uncertainties of life, it seems logical for a mother to choose to breastfeed for as long as she can.
During my pregnancy, I was determined to breastfeed. Though I believe that all feeding methods have their merits, breastfeeding is undoubtedly beneficial for a child’s immune system and overall health. I was fortunate that the beginning of my breastfeeding journey was relatively smooth, but challenges soon arose.
The hurdles I faced, compounded by my anxiety, made breastfeeding particularly challenging. I often found myself criticizing my abilities, worrying that I wasn’t doing enough for my child, and believing that my baby’s health was at stake. This was a common struggle—both of our bodies were navigating uncharted territory, and difficulties were to be expected. Yet, my anxiety led me to exaggerate the situation. I was adamant about breastfeeding exclusively, even though formula is a perfectly acceptable alternative (I myself was fed a mix of breastmilk and formula as an infant and turned out just fine).
A significant part of the pressure I felt stemmed from societal expectations and the unrealistic standards we often impose on ourselves to be the “perfect mother.” In our quest to provide the best for our children, we sometimes neglect our own well-being. I know I am guilty of this; it’s essential to remember that caring for oneself can also be the best for one’s child.
Fast forward to today, and my dedication to breastfeeding has yielded positive results. My son, Oliver, is nearly 13 months old, and our breastfeeding journey continues robustly. I foresee a transition in the near future, as I plan to wean him before expecting another child, even though it’s possible to nurse while pregnant.
Now, here I am—a mother with a walking, talking toddler who still breastfeeds. Oliver shows no signs of wanting to reduce our current 2-3 nursing sessions a day, and frankly, I am not ready to stop either.
This leads me to a crucial reflection: What gives us the right to judge another woman’s choices, especially regarding her body and her child’s well-being?
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In summary, my journey from judgment to understanding has reshaped my views on extended breastfeeding. As mothers, we must support one another and recognize that each child’s needs and circumstances are unique.