Before I became a parent 15 years ago, I imagined myself as a nurturing and patient figure, always ready to respond to my child’s endless inquiries. Back then, parenting books and magazines (in a time before “Google” was a household name) emphasized the importance of addressing every “why” from our kids. They warned that neglecting these questions could stifle curiosity and leave them as mere shadows of their former selves.
I thought I would be the kind of parent who patiently answered every question my child posed, explaining the reasoning behind our household rules and collaborating with them to seek out answers when I didn’t know them. I vowed never to resort to the dreaded “because I said so.”
However, I’ve recently found myself shutting down my 15-year-old son’s relentless “why” inquiries. He’s an amazing kid, and I am grateful to be his mom. But lately, he has taken to bombarding me with questions as a tactic to wear me down when I deny him something he wants. The parenting literature didn’t prepare me for this phase of teenage manipulation.
For instance, when I told him he couldn’t use the computer all day, he grilled me with “why” questions. I reminded him of the reasons behind our screen time limits — mental health, the need for diverse stimuli, and eye strain. But each response was met with yet another “why,” cloaked in feigned curiosity. This wasn’t a child seeking understanding; it was a teenager trying to bend the rules.
After a few rounds of questioning, I suggested he could look up studies on the topic when he’s allowed back on screens. He groaned and finally gave in. Parenting often feels like a partnership, but at times, it can feel like a boxing match, with each side trying to claim victory. I’ll admit it felt good to win this round.
While I strive to explain my boundaries, I have come to realize that kids aren’t always innocent seekers of knowledge; sometimes, they are clever teenagers testing their limits. Kids are smart, and pushing boundaries is part of their development. They are not plotting to become future villains; they are simply human.
So, while my pre-parent self had good intentions, my experienced parent self realizes that parenting is nuanced. Not every situation is clear-cut, and kids will continue to surprise you. Sometimes, you must outsmart them right back.
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In summary, while I once believed I could always provide thoughtful answers to my child’s inquiries, I now understand that sometimes they are testing limits rather than genuinely seeking knowledge. Parenting is a complex journey filled with unexpected challenges, and it’s essential to adapt and react accordingly.