“Is your mom into rock music?” A friend of my son, Alex, asked him the other day after spotting me at a school event. I couldn’t help but chuckle when Alex relayed this. It’s likely she was curious because I certainly didn’t fit in with the other parents, who were mostly clad in school-branded shirts and radiating traditional school spirit.
Unlike them, I sported tattoos, piercings, and colorful dreadlocks.
Now, I’ll admit that I don’t know for certain if other parents were concealing tattoos beneath their attire—perhaps on their lower backs or ankles. However, it was clear that I was an eye-catching canvas of self-expression.
While I felt confident in my skin, many parents regarded me as if I’d just been released from confinement. Their glances suggested they’d never encountered a mother with such distinctive style. But perhaps that’s simply the reality in our town.
I understand that not everyone appreciates body art, and that’s perfectly fine. Yet, tattoos and piercings are increasingly common in today’s society. So why was I being scrutinized as if I had a third eye? Ah, yes. Because I’m a mom. A mother of five young kids in an affluent school district. And apparently, the societal expectation is that a “proper” mom shouldn’t have so many tattoos. What kind of message am I sending?
Let me clarify what kind of mother I really am.
I am a fiercely loving mom. My affection for my children is boundless and so profound that it brings tears to my eyes. My tattoos don’t hinder my ability to love them deeply.
I am a fun-loving mom. We share laughter and jokes; my kids’ cleverness proves that my piercings don’t prevent us from having a good time together.
I am a listening mom. Whether they’re sharing their triumphs or struggles, I’m always ready to hear them out. They know they can come to me for anything and can rest their heads on my shoulder as long as they need. My dreadlocks certainly don’t stop me from being there for them.
I don’t often brag about myself, but when it comes to motherhood, I’m pretty proud of what I do. I strive to be my best every single day, and my appearance has no bearing on that.
So, what kind of message am I imparting to my kids?
I teach them that it’s completely acceptable to embrace who they are and to feel comfortable in their own skin. Confidence is key, even if others might label you as arrogant. People will always have their opinions, so why not be true to yourself?
I believe in recognizing the goodness in people. I won’t judge someone based on their looks; my criteria is whether or not they are decent human beings. If someone assumes I’m a bad mom because of my appearance, that says much more about them than it does about me.
I won’t claim to have all the answers when it comes to parenting. Respecting others should be a given. However, I will say that my body modifications have no impact on my role as a mother. I’m not the first mom to embrace this lifestyle, and I won’t be the last. If you don’t like it, look away—but you’d be missing out on a pretty fun person.
My children are cherished beyond measure. I’m certain they love me just the way I am, and they’re proud of me. In the end, it’s all about the heart, and yes, us boldly expressive parents have plenty of that.
And just to clarify for that little girl, yes, I absolutely enjoy rock music!