If you were familiar with the family in the bright blue house on our street, you might recall the Halloween when a child donned a costume resembling a construction barrel, confidently walked into their home, declined a handful of candy, and inquired about the nearest restroom while adjusting his costume.
And if you spoke with the woman living just a few houses down, she could tell you about the boy who turned down her candy selection, expressing his preference for her chandeliers with energy-efficient bulbs instead.
At the end of the block, there’s a family who might remember the child fascinated with flicking the foyer lights rather than collecting full-sized candy bars. A few years ago, my son, the one in the construction barrel costume, was the only kid in our neighborhood who wasn’t focused on filling his pumpkin with sweets. For him, Halloween is far less about candy and much more about the quirky adventures that come with autism.
To my son, October 31st is a day filled with possibilities, as he believes it grants him access to every house in the vicinity. When someone opens their front door, he sees it as an open invitation, joyfully accepting the chance to step inside. His interactions during Halloween go beyond the quick exchanges of candy and compliments; they serve as an opportunity for others to learn about embracing differences.
While some neighbors take it in stride, others are understandably perplexed and unsure of how to respond. This is where education comes in. It’s essential for anyone handing out treats to be aware, understanding, and accepting.
Not every child who approaches your door fits the typical mold of a costumed, candy-seeking trick-or-treater. For many, Halloween can be a confusing and uncomfortable experience, whether due to autism, shyness, allergies, or other reasons that complicate the evening. For those with dietary restrictions, having a few gluten-free or nut-free options, along with non-candy alternatives, can make a world of difference. The Teal Pumpkin Project, initiated by Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE), encourages families to showcase teal pumpkins to indicate the availability of non-food items for children with allergies, promoting inclusivity among all trick-or-treaters—except perhaps those who wander into your home to admire the lighting.
In his earlier years, my son had limited verbal skills; “trick-or-treat” was not in his vocabulary. For children with autism, or those who are simply shy, approaching a stranger’s house for candy can be daunting. It’s perfectly acceptable if a child doesn’t say “trick-or-treat” or “thank you”—those phrases should not be prerequisites for receiving candy.
Many parents rehearse Halloween with their children beforehand, practicing the essential phrases and helping them become comfortable in their costumes as they prepare for the big night. Some even use social stories to illustrate appropriate interactions.
Initially, my son found everything about Halloween distressing. The darkness, frightening decorations, uncomfortable costumes, and lack of interest in candy all contributed to his reluctance. Someone once asked why we continued to take him out if he disliked it so much. It was a valid question, but staying home was not an option. Like many children—whether they have autism or not—the more he was exposed to various experiences, the more he began to adapt. After a few years of trick-or-treating, he now looks forward to Halloween just like his siblings, mostly excited about entering neighbors’ homes, and I couldn’t be happier to see him embrace the joy of the holiday.
So, this Halloween, I urge you to be aware, understanding, and patient. And if my kids come knocking at your door, please be generous—especially with the chocolate! Here are some tips to make trick-or-treating a fun experience for every child:
- Be Aware: As you see various costumes, remember that not all kids share the same comfort levels with Halloween traditions. You can’t always tell which children have autism or allergies just by their appearance.
- Be Understanding: Just because Halloween is a favorite holiday for many doesn’t mean every child is excited about dressing up and soliciting candy from strangers. Some may not be in costumes for valid reasons and should not be singled out.
- Be Accepting: Every child is unique, with their own strengths and abilities. For some, Halloween etiquette might not be their strong suit. Simply give them candy (or a non-food item), smile, wish them a happy Halloween, and recognize that each child is making an effort.
Your kindness and understanding can profoundly impact these children’s experiences.
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Summary
Halloween can be a unique experience for children with autism and other special needs. By being aware, understanding, and accepting, we can create a more inclusive environment for all trick-or-treaters. Simple gestures of kindness can help children navigate this special night, allowing them to enjoy the festive spirit of Halloween.