As soon as my youngest son had the dexterity to get his fingers into his mouth, he began sucking them. Prior to that, he would gnaw on his hand just below the thumb, leaving it dry and cracked. Clearly, this was a significant comfort for him; I had never seen a child so determined to get his hand to his mouth. He often became upset and cried when he struggled to achieve a proper grip.
Initially, he sucked three fingers simultaneously, and I was grateful—this habit calmed him down instantly and made my life a bit easier, especially with two other toddlers running around. Whether he was upset or excited, sucking his fingers helped soothe him and seemed to foster some self-control, especially when he was tempted to touch something off-limits.
His finger-sucking routine also aided him in falling asleep. After dealing with two older children who relied on pacifiers, this new method was a game-changer. No longer did I have to worry about losing pacifiers, as my youngest could self-soothe with his ever-present “magic wands.” I expected he would stop around the age of four or five, but that wasn’t the case.
When he started kindergarten, his teacher informed me that he never sucked his fingers at school. However, as soon as he got into the car after a long day, he plugged them right back in, only removing them for eating or talking. Sometimes, he would even try to do both at once because of his fondness for his fingers.
As the years went by, my anxiety about his habit began to fade. At six, I consulted his pediatrician, who reassured me, saying, “He’s still young. His mouth is developing, and it’s completely normal for kids this age to suck their fingers. Don’t worry.”
But the following year brought no change. He wasn’t cutting back on the habit and didn’t care if others saw him with his fingers in his mouth. When he turned eight and shot up three inches, I started to fret. He looked much older and was still sucking those fingers, which was driving me crazy. I began offering bribes and treats to encourage him to stop, but nothing worked.
Frustrated, I approached the pediatrician again as he neared nine. “Have the reminders or treats made any difference?” she asked while I sat in her office, watching him read outside with his father. “No,” I replied. “Nothing has worked.” She advised, “Then stop. Discussing it may make him feel like he’s doing something wrong and could create anxiety. He will stop when he’s ready; it’ll be fine. Just let it go.”
As challenging as it was, I followed her advice. Friends and family frequently asked why he still sucked his fingers, expressing concern and suggesting I dip his fingers in something unpleasant—an impractical idea since he was old enough to wash his hands. Some claimed he was “abnormal” and suggested punishment to deter him.
I recalled my own childhood experience of being yelled at by a dentist for finger-sucking when I was seven. His harshness made me terrified to return, prompting me to stop. Yet, he remained rude during my next visit, making me wish I had savored the habit a little longer; I ended up biting my nails instead, which looked awful for years.
When my son turned ten and still sucked his fingers as if they were lollipops, I held my tongue. I didn’t want to repeat the mistakes of my childhood experiences with dental professionals. I cherished our pediatrician’s calm demeanor and wise counsel. I realized my desire for him to stop stemmed more from social concerns than any health issues.
If you have a child who sucks their thumb or fingers, I suggest consulting a trusted orthodontist or dentist, as I did, to ensure there are no dental concerns. My main worry was that his finger-sucking might affect his self-esteem or indicate anxiety.
Then, one day, he simply stopped. It felt like a switch had flipped, and he no longer wanted to suck his fingers. My son had sucked his fingers for a decade. For much of that time, I worried that perhaps I had weaned him too early or failed to give him enough attention, believing he relied on finger-sucking to self-soothe.
Ultimately, I was mistaken. He is perfectly healthy, and while he may need braces in the future, the orthodontist is merely keeping an eye on his development. His older siblings also needed braces, and they only used pacifiers until about three. My son can still fall asleep independently, doesn’t exhibit an addictive personality (so far), and is happy and well-adjusted—his habit didn’t hinder his growth at all.
Interestingly, many children with prolonged finger or thumb-sucking habits do not end up with dental issues. For instance, Lisa mentioned that her daughter sucked her fingers for many years and was the only one of her kids who didn’t need braces. Rhonda shared that one of her three children thumb-sucked but had excellent teeth, while her other two, who never sucked on anything, needed significant orthodontic work.
In some cases, thumb-sucking has even benefited a child’s dental development, as Jennifer noted her child’s orthodontist claimed it had helped widen her palate. While most children eventually give up these habits, some may not—and that’s perfectly okay. Kaity shared that, at 34, she still sucks her thumb and has never required braces.
So, if you find yourself questioning whether your child should have outgrown their finger-sucking habit by now, take a breath and resist the urge to nag or shame them. They will stop when they’re ready, and everything will turn out just fine.
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In summary, while finger-sucking can be a source of worry for many parents, it’s essential to remember that most children will outgrow it on their own. Engaging with trusted professionals and maintaining a supportive environment can ensure that your child develops healthily and happily.