Acting has never been my forte; I’m simply too self-aware for the stage. While I relish watching films and admire the talent displayed by actors, stepping into their shoes is not in my wheelhouse. However, my 6-year-old son, Ethan, seems destined for a career in the limelight—not necessarily because he excels at pretending (he does) or is a budding storyteller (he’s getting there), but because he absolutely loves to perform!
And let me tell you, that’s not a compliment. My son is a full-blown drama king, and it’s exhausting. Just this morning, he was inconsolable after I mistakenly handed him his mother’s socks, which look nearly identical to his, aside from a hint of pink. Pink is off-limits! Despite my efforts to raise him without the constraints of arbitrary gender norms, he’s currently in the throes of that “Ew! Girls!” phase.
Shame? Not something he seems to possess. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. There are certain things that make him shy, like talking to unfamiliar faces or being the center of attention in a crowded space. He even turned down an exciting opportunity to be an extra in a David Simon HBO series filming near our home last fall. Yet, when it comes to throwing epic tantrums in public places, he has no qualms whatsoever.
I don’t see much shame in those outbursts. While I believe confidence and a lack of self-consciousness are tremendous assets in life (with a notable counterargument being Donald Trump), sometimes I wish he’d realize how embarrassing his behavior is. These meltdowns need to be curtailed, primarily because they seem to be carefully orchestrated for attention.
It’s not merely a matter of discipline. The moment he bumps his knee? Cue the drama. He drops his mini muffins? Drama time. Almost trips? You guessed it—drama time. I haven’t witnessed this level of theatrical howling since that Teen Wolf show was canceled on MTV, a series I never actually watched but can only imagine had its fair share of melodrama.
The challenge, as with much of parenting, is differentiating between my expectations for his behavior at his age and the legitimate reasons behind his reactions. Yes, he’s 6, and it’s easy to think he should have outgrown these tantrums by now—believe me, I’ve muttered similar sentiments in my more frazzled moments. However, it’s worth noting that we welcomed a baby into our family just nine months ago.
Ethan adores his little brother, and the age difference provides a buffer where they aren’t yet competing for toys or attention, which helps minimize conflict. Nonetheless, the gap isn’t so vast that he can completely detach from my wife and me. He still craves our attention, and with a baby demanding so much of our time, he inevitably receives less than he’s accustomed to.
It’s easy to overlook, especially when juggling a newborn, that a 6-year-old—who can somewhat care for himself (read: can safely entertain himself in another room)—is still a child. After five years of being the center of our universe, he’s now sharing the spotlight. Given these changes, a degree of behavioral upheaval is to be expected.
I just wish it could be a bit less explosive, less public, and less frequent. But we’re getting there!
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Summary:
Parenting a dramatic child can be quite the challenge, especially when they thrive on attention and are adjusting to new family dynamics. Understanding their behavior and providing support during transitions—like the arrival of a sibling—can help alleviate some of the dramatic outbursts.