If I had to distill motherhood into one term, it would be “thankless.” From the moment I brought my little ones into the world (which came without any appreciation—where were my “push presents”?), I’ve been their unwavering support. Every day, I cater to their needs, from preparing their meals (which often go unacknowledged) to managing mountains of dirty dishes and a never-ending cycle of laundry.
Being a mother is a relentless job. Even when the kids grow past needing diaper changes or constant supervision in the bath, they still demand attention. My home could be immaculate if everyone pitched in, but that’s not how it typically goes. While I strive to instill self-sufficiency in them, most responsibilities still fall on my shoulders.
In every corner of my house, there’s an invisible checklist of tasks that need tending to, and beside each task, there’s one name: MOM.
Do I take on all these chores because they bring me joy? Not at all. I do it because it’s the age-old role of mothers, performed with little acknowledgment from those we serve (those ungrateful souls).
You won’t find cave drawings that celebrate mothers organizing their homes or medieval poems praising them for cooking meals. No Renaissance art depicts a mother scrubbing away dirt or tidying up.
No one notices when we juggle a full- or part-time job, deal with illness, or carry around a fussy baby while keeping the household running smoothly. Going above and beyond to meet family needs often goes unnoticed, as if it’s simply expected.
Much like oxygen, the person who keeps the home in check is crucial yet frequently taken for granted. And if we happen not to be the primary breadwinner? Well, forget about it.
Sure, we might get a Mother’s Day card once a year with some heartfelt lines, but that’s about as much recognition as we can hope for. “It’s a labor of love,” I remind myself while scrubbing away stains from a toilet that isn’t even mine.
Living this mom life, balancing endless household tasks on top of everything else, I get a bit irked when my partner thinks he deserves a pat on the back for his contributions—what he calls “helping out.”
Let me clarify: I appreciate when he lightens my load (which is why I’ve trained my kids to help since they could hold a sponge; work smarter, not harder). And since he works longer hours outside the home, it makes sense that I handle more of the domestic duties. I accept that.
However, I can’t condone his expectation of gratitude for doing the tasks that I routinely manage, often multiple times for his one-off efforts, without any acknowledgment.
Take the dishes, for instance. I work outside the home a couple of evenings each week. Before leaving, I always ensure a meal is prepared for the family, even if I don’t get to sit down and enjoy it.
When I return home, if the table has been cleared, my partner is sure to highlight his “good deed.” “I cleaned up after dinner,” he says—not outright asking for praise, but clearly fishing for appreciation.
It doesn’t matter if the table is still dirty or if the dishes that couldn’t fit in the dishwasher are left in the sink, soaking in a pool of unpleasantness. The remaining cleanup—hand-washing, wiping down surfaces, and whatever else—falls to me, the lucky one who gets to finish tidying up after a meal I didn’t even partake in.
In his eyes, gratitude is entirely warranted. After all, he could have just left the entire mess for me, plopping down on the couch with the remote instead.
Theoretically, I could take that route too. But then what? Watch the mess accumulate while hoping someone realizes I’m the linchpin holding everything together?
I do it because, unfairly, it’s expected of me—more than my fair share. Because I’m the mom, and everyone knows moms are the backbone of the home.
If I’m not receiving thanks for maintaining order, ensuring our family has warm meals and fresh laundry, then I’m not in any rush to offer my thanks either. If it’s part of my job description, then it’s equally part of his. We’re a team in managing our home, just as we are with our children and finances.
It’s tough to express gratitude when I’m pouring in maximum effort and still going unnoticed. He does something once and expects acknowledgment. If he wants praise, he should do it consistently.
Maybe I’ll just start doing the bare minimum. Next time I do laundry, I might toss his work shirts in the wash and forget to take them out. When he asks, “Honey? My shirts are still in the washer?” I’ll smile and say, “I know! All clean!” After all, I’m not just sitting on the couch, right?
In this never-ending cycle of household management, it’s essential that we all contribute equally and recognize each other’s efforts. So, if you’re interested in more about self-insemination, check out this home insemination kit. Also, for expert advice on pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is very helpful. And for tips on staying bug-free while handling all these chores, you can visit this site.
In summary, the daily grind of motherhood often goes unappreciated, yet it’s crucial for the family’s well-being. While some may expect gratitude for their infrequent contributions, it’s essential to recognize that everyone must play their part, consistently, for a harmonious household.