“Goodnight, Dad.”
“‘Night!” I respond from the living room, enjoying the comforting glow of my favorite streaming series. Parenting tweens has its challenges, but one significant perk is that they can put themselves to bed and stay asleep through the night. What a relief!
So when I turned 40, I didn’t dwell on my new wrinkles or sagging skin. Instead, I thought, “Finally, I can indulge in some well-deserved sleep and make up for a decade of restless nights spent with infants.”
One night, after kissing my husband goodnight, I rolled over, ready to enjoy uninterrupted sleep—until I heard it…
“Znnnh…”
What was that?
“Sweetheart? Did you say something?” Silence. My husband possesses an incredible talent for falling asleep the moment he hits the pillow. I tried to drift off again, but moments later, I heard it again: a small, choking sound escaping his nostrils: “Znh!”
Oh, no he didn’t! Being the caring spouse that I am, I gently nudged him in an attempt to stifle the noise. He shot up like I’d just poked him with a fork. “What?”
“Roll over! You’re snoring!” I whispered through clenched teeth.
And thus began the era of nightly interruptions. Initially, it was a rare occurrence—perhaps once a week. Now, it’s become a nightly ritual. I’ve always struggled with falling asleep; I need two essential things: darkness and silence. So this new development was a serious issue. Just when I thought I’d finally reached the pinnacle of parenthood—sleeping through the night—my partner was sabotaging my rest. Seriously?
I was ready to take action. “It was nice while it lasted, but I think we need separate bedrooms from now on.”
“Oh, really? Should we just get separate houses while we’re at it?” he retorted.
“Perfect! Can I have the bigger one? You can take the guest shed out back and visit for ‘quality time.’”
When we shared our ‘brilliant’ plan with friends and family, the reactions ranged from bemused to horrified (sorry, Aunt Linda). Nevertheless, my husband and I found it absolutely amusing. However, we soon discovered we weren’t alone in this struggle.
Just mention snoring to any couple, and you’ll see fingers pointed in no time. Many folks are sleeping in separate bedrooms, on couches, or even in their children’s rooms, using “bonding time” as an excuse to catch some much-needed Zs!
For now, we’ve discovered a temporary fix. My nightly routine includes setting my alarm, charging my phone, and then… inserting earplugs. I found some that effectively mask my husband’s snoring while still allowing me to hear crucial sounds—like tornado warnings or the unmistakable sound of a child getting sick in the bathroom.
I know I’m fortunate; my husband is relatively slim, and when he snores, it’s more like a gentle rustling than a chainsaw. I’ve encountered larger individuals with diagnosed sleep apnea, and let me tell you, it’s pure torture. Those folks could wake the dead with their nighttime symphonies.
For those dealing with this dilemma, it’s no laughing matter. Sleep deprivation can have serious effects on one’s health. During nursing school, I learned that lack of sleep can impair performance similarly to being drunk. Additionally, heavy snorers often experience oxygen deprivation at night, leading to fatigue and irritability. There are sleep clinics that can help diagnose sleep apnea, so clears throat if you suspect this is an issue for you or your partner, consult with a medical professional. If your snoring partner isn’t on board with visiting a sleep clinic, there are various over-the-counter devices available that you can discreetly place on their nightstand. (P.S. Offering some “motivational incentives” for wearing them can be a fun way to encourage compliance!)
As a point of contention, my husband claims I snore as well, but I firmly disagree. After all, I’ve never heard it.
In summary, snoring can create significant challenges in a relationship, leading to sleep deprivation and frustration. While finding humor in the situation can help lighten the mood, it’s important to address the underlying issues seriously. Solutions range from earplugs to professional help, ensuring both partners get the rest they need.
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