Recently, my partner and I logged onto our health insurance website to complete a COVID-19 vaccine eligibility questionnaire. She went first, given her high-risk status after a hospitalization for sepsis last October. Working as a teaching assistant at our kids’ school and having previously taught gardening classes, she quickly received information indicating she would be contacted soon for an appointment.
When it was my turn, I barely got three questions in before being met with a blunt notification that I was far from eligible for the vaccine. While they may have worded it more diplomatically, the message was clear. Being in my late 30s with no underlying health issues and a job that allows me to work from home means I’ll be waiting a while longer for my shot. Meanwhile, my partner is all set to go, and I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. I’ve learned I’m not alone in this sentiment; many couples are experiencing similar feelings.
This is particularly common among older couples with a noticeable age difference. A piece in the Wall Street Journal highlighted various couples in their 60s and 70s, where the older partner was able to get vaccinated while the younger had to wait. One notable case was that of Lisa James, who at 63 just missed the cutoff in her state while her 79-year-old husband moved ahead in the queue. When she asked her doctor if there was any way for her to get vaccinated sooner, he bluntly replied, “you’re in the SOL group.” For clarity, SOL means “stuck outta luck,” capturing the frustration many feel as they await their turn for the vaccine.
I can relate to the frustration. Just the other day, I bumped into an old acquaintance who works at the local hospital. She shared how her second vaccine shot left her feeling unwell, and I couldn’t help but internally roll my eyes with envy, thinking “boo-hoo” as she recounted her experience.
Experts say that these feelings of envy are entirely normal during these trying times. As we all try to avoid the virus until more vaccines are available, the psychological toll can be significant. Eric Zillmer, a neuropsychology professor at Drexel University, and Susan Whitbourne, a professor emeritus of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts, tackled the issue of vaccine envy in a recent Washington Post article.
Whitbourne advised that acknowledging our feelings is crucial. She reassured readers that it’s okay to feel jealous and that it doesn’t make you a bad person. Accepting these emotions is an important step in managing them. Zillmer encouraged a broader perspective, reminding us that when more people get vaccinated, it ultimately benefits everyone. The goal of widespread vaccination is herd immunity, and each eligible person who gets vaccinated contributes to that collective safety.
During a recent online therapy session, I expressed how overwhelming it feels to have nothing to look forward to amidst this pandemic. My therapist offered a comforting insight, suggesting that by this time next year, life should resemble something more normal. His words brought a smile to my face, recalling what Dr. Anthony S. Fauci said about April being a significant turning point when most people could start receiving their vaccines.
Although it feels like time has slowed down during this pandemic, we are nearing the end of February, and April is just around the corner. There’s hope that my vaccine envy will soon be a thing of the past. Until then, let’s maintain an optimistic outlook because there is indeed light at the end of this long tunnel — even if others reach it before us.
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In summary, it’s common to feel envious when loved ones receive the COVID-19 vaccine while we wait. Acknowledging these feelings is essential, and understanding the bigger picture can help us cope. There’s hope for a return to normalcy as vaccination efforts ramp up, and we should strive to remain optimistic during this challenging time.