As a mother, I strive to be the best for my child. I often hesitate to label myself as “great” because I know I’m human and can’t consistently be the engaged, cheerful parent I envision. Yet, when I reflect on our parenting dynamic, it becomes clear that my partner is the more dedicated and effective parent.
Unlike me, my partner avoids using the television as a distraction. Instead, he actively engages our child with toys and books, fostering her curiosity and imagination. He prepares balanced meals for her, ensuring she’s nourished rather than relying on quick snacks like milk and applesauce.
He never rushes through our daughter’s bedtime routine, taking the time to read her favorite stories and play her beloved games until she’s ready to settle down. His full attention is always on her—he doesn’t check his phone or allow distractions when they’re spending time together.
He never hesitates to walk to the park with her, dedicating as much time as she needs on the swings. He would never choose fast food for convenience; instead, he brings home wholesome meals—even if they might become moldy if left out too long, unlike the unhealthy options I might have offered.
When our toddler insists on walking herself during errands, he patiently matches her pace, regardless of how long it takes. My partner embodies the kind of parent I aspire to be—the one I envisioned while pregnant and the one I strive to emulate every day.
But the reality is, I am not that parent. I am the primary caregiver, spending more hours with our child, while he enjoys the highlights of evenings and weekends with her. I deal with the daily routines of getting dressed, filling hours until nap time, and navigating tantrums and chaotic playdates.
This acknowledgment doesn’t diminish my partner’s contributions; our daughter is incredibly fortunate to have such a loving, attentive father. While he brings energy, motivation, and enthusiasm, I sometimes find myself grappling with fatigue and lower expectations. I allow myself grace, albeit perhaps a bit too liberally at times.
I am a good mother; he is a good father. Together, we provide a well-rounded upbringing for our daughter. While I offer her consistency, comfort, and crucial conversations about feelings and bodies, he enriches her life with adventure, laughter, and strong values.
Our parenting styles don’t need to mirror one another. What constitutes “good” parenting for me doesn’t have to align with his approach. Instead of envying his patience and commitment, I choose to appreciate sharing this journey with such a remarkable person. I will be grateful for the moments she shares with him, and I will work towards being a bit more patient each day.
It’s important to remember that it’s okay to take a break. Sometimes, even cuddling up for another episode of a favorite show is just what we both need.
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In summary, parenting is a journey with its unique challenges and rewards. Recognizing our differences can help us appreciate the strengths we each bring to our family.