I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve heard friends or even myself say, “My partner has no clue what it’s like to be home with the kids.” During the years when I was balancing a full-time job and pregnancy, then juggling work with motherhood, I often vented about how my partner didn’t understand my reality. And honestly, he didn’t.
He truly has no idea what my daily life involves, just as I can’t fully grasp the challenges of his work. Our roles remain somewhat mysterious to one another. He often struggles to find the peanut butter or where the extra towels are stored, and let’s not even get started on how our little one often stays in pajamas all day while with him. I suspect that dressing her is a bit of a challenge for him. And when I return home, I can’t help but notice she’s missing a sock, the air is thick with the scent of chicken fingers, and the boys are practically drenched from their wrestling matches.
Initially, I felt frustrated that he didn’t manage the kids the way I would. If I were home, there wouldn’t be any lingering smells or chaotic wrestling sessions. However, after I left my job to become a full-time caregiver, I found I was just relieved to have a break. Now, I appreciate him for being the provider, and he expresses gratitude for everything I manage—even though we both know he may not fully understand all that it entails.
But… he really has no idea.
- He has no idea how much coffee fuels my day.
- He has no idea what it’s like to run errands with three energetic children.
- He has no idea how awkward it can be to change my tampon in front of an audience.
- He has no idea how isolating and overwhelming it feels on particularly tough days when the kids are misbehaving, and I wish for an extra set of hands.
- He has no idea what it’s like to witness my body transform three times, often feeling out of control.
- He has no idea how much joy he brings to my life—something I can never quite articulate.
- He has no idea how grateful I am for his unwavering love, even as he sees more of my flaws with each passing year.
- He has no idea how thankful I am to be present for every moment of our children’s lives, both the good and the bad, thanks to his support.
- He has no idea how challenging my life can be, but he also has no idea how incredible it is.
So, to my partner, who remains blissfully unaware of the realities of staying home with the kids… thank you. We often overlook expressing gratitude to those who love us most and endure our most ridiculous moments. If you’re interested in exploring more about at-home insemination, you might find this blog post about artificial insemination kits insightful. Additionally, the UCSF Center for Reproductive Health provides authoritative information on reproductive health. For further reading on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource at Rmany.
In summary, while our lives are often worlds apart, the love and appreciation we share bridge that gap, reminding us that we each play invaluable roles in our family’s journey.