Can you do self-insemination at home ?
On a bright autumn afternoon, my partner was involved in a road rage shooting incident. Miraculously, he survived, along with our four children who were in the vehicle but thankfully unharmed. The experience was terrifying and surreal—something you see on the news, but never expect to happen to you. I certainly didn’t believe it would happen to us. The shocking reality of my unpreparedness for such a tragedy was a harsh wake-up call.
In the aftermath of the shooting, I found myself navigating insurance companies, police reports, and even reporters. My partner was released from the hospital the same day and quickly returned to work, though he was shaken and injured. His confidence in the justice system helped him cope, but I was left feeling panicked. The shooting was only part of my anxiety; the true terror was realizing I had no idea how to manage our family’s affairs without him.
We had been together for 13 years and had four children when this incident occurred. Throughout our marriage, I had signed documents for our home and vehicles without ever asking about the financial details. My partner handled all of that while I focused on other family responsibilities. I was completely unaware of our IRA accounts, investments, credit cards, or education funds. The sheer level of my ignorance about our finances was as frightening as the shooting itself.
At night, I lay awake thinking, “What would I have done if something worse had happened?” He could have died that day, and I would have been left alone with four children and no understanding of how to manage. He paid for everything and owned all our assets. I didn’t even have his email password. As a self-employed business owner, there was no HR department or final paycheck to rely on. What would happen to his businesses? Was I responsible? Did I own them? The questions were overwhelming.
He had talked about life insurance, but how much was there? Would it cover our mortgage? What were our monthly expenses? I felt lost and incredibly foolish for allowing myself to be so uninformed.
My partner is not a misogynistic figure; he simply takes care of things. I have my roles in our family, and he has his. If I were gone, he would struggle with the kids’ school schedules and medical records. But those tasks are far easier to manage than understanding our taxes without any paperwork. Everything was stored digitally on his computer, and I had no access. That realization was terrifying.
Change Was Necessary
We needed to shift our approach to finances. Instead of leaving everything on automatic with monthly payments, I wanted to understand our financial situation. He had always given me money when I asked, but I never monitored our shared accounts. We have joint accounts, and even when I was working, we managed our finances separately. While I liked that arrangement, I now needed clarity on our expenses.
I don’t place all the blame on him—I’m just as responsible. I never asked about our finances. As long as the bills were paid, I felt secure. I was blissfully ignorant, but that was a dangerous position. We both needed access to each other’s accounts and passwords. He would never want me to struggle if he were no longer here. We always thought we had time to figure it out, but a shocking event forced us to address it.
We’re still working on getting organized. I now have details about our mortgage and car payments, and he’s learned how to access our cable provider’s site. I’ve compiled a list of our children’s doctors and their medications. We still need to create a will and establish advanced medical directives. We haven’t designated guardians for our children in case of an emergency. I have specific wishes for my memorial, but those intentions are not documented.
Conclusion
No one should find themselves in a panic when emergencies arise. Couples should be transparent about their finances, sharing access to accounts and passwords. I want to ensure that if something happens, I can manage our lives and care for our children without confusion. We just needed that scary nudge to prompt a serious conversation.
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Search Queries Related to This Topic:
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In summary, a life-threatening incident opened my eyes to the necessity of being financially informed and prepared as a family. It’s vital for both partners to share access to financial information and make plans for unexpected events to ensure the well-being of the entire family.