All indications pointed to my mother’s disregard for the importance of social distancing during the pandemic. When schools were first closed, she dismissively remarked, “We’ll be back in a couple of weeks.” Less than two weeks later, she called to inform me she had made some soup. I assumed she’d leave it on her doorstep, but instead, she showed up at my house. This was not the social distancing I had anticipated.
“I can’t accept that from you,” I told her firmly. She laughed it off, rolling her eyes as if I were overreacting. We had a brief conversation while maintaining the recommended six feet apart, which she treated as a joke.
“I’m worried she’s not taking social distancing seriously,” I expressed to my partner, Mark. “The other day, I saw her grab a package with her bare hands and go right into her home.” In contrast, Mark and I had established a stringent protocol for handling mail—using bleach, letting packages sit in the sun, and heavy use of hand sanitizer, despite the low risk of transmission through packages.
Then she decided to adopt a dog from Craigslist. On Facebook, she posted pictures of herself and her friend cuddling the puppy. This was the exact opposite of social distancing, regardless of the memes she shared about keeping safe. She had put herself in contact with the dog’s previous owner, along with her friend. If we were to visit her, we would be relying on their commitment to social distancing for our safety.
Mark has compromised lung function, and I deal with a health condition that weakens my immune system. With three children to care for, the thought of getting sick is terrifying. Who would look after them? We all have a responsibility to limit the spread of the virus, which means avoiding anyone not adhering to social distancing measures—no exceptions.
When faced with a relative who isn’t practicing safe distancing, it forces you to confront an uncomfortable and critical issue. This is far worse than any political debate—it’s about the safety of your loved ones. You can’t ignore it or downplay it. You must confront them directly, whether from six feet away or through a phone call, and say something like, “Your failure to follow social distancing puts you and us at risk. Therefore, we can’t see you in person. We can video chat or message, but face-to-face meetings are off the table.”
Expect to be labeled paranoid or silly. They might dismiss your concerns as exaggerated or claim that the threat isn’t serious.
The truth is, their reaction stems from the reality of COVID-19, which has devastating consequences, especially for older individuals and those with chronic illnesses. Reports indicate that a significant number of lives could be lost, and the thought of facing that reality can be overwhelming for them.
Instead of confronting them with harsh statistics, try a gentler approach. Remind them that social distancing is about protecting others, not just themselves. Instead of throwing around numbers, share personal stories that highlight the risks. You might say, “I’m worried about my friend who has a serious illness. By keeping our distance, we help protect people like her.”
As suggested by experts, ensure you have your facts straight. You can mention reputable sources, such as the CDC or the WHO, to support your stance. Use “I” statements to frame the conversation: “I am choosing to stay home to protect those who might be asymptomatic carriers.” Then, propose alternatives, such as, “Can I drop off groceries at your door?” or “Let’s set up a video call so the kids can see you.”
It’s incredibly frustrating to deal with a family member who won’t comply with social distancing guidelines. However, it’s essential to advocate for your safety and that of your family. Hopefully, your words will encourage them to rethink their approach. Keep trying—lives are at stake.
For further insights on navigating these challenges, you can check out this post on our blog. It’s important to stay informed, and for those interested in reproductive health, this resource offers valuable information. Additionally, if you want to learn more about infertility and related topics, visit WomensHealth.gov.
Summary
This article discusses the frustration of dealing with a relative who disregards social distancing during the COVID-19 pandemic. It emphasizes the importance of confronting such behavior for the safety of loved ones and offers strategies for engaging in these difficult conversations.