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Parenting
My Most Essential Parenting Tool
by Jessica Caldwell
Sep. 14, 2015
Throughout my 15 years of raising three children, I’ve amassed an extensive array of parenting strategies. From redirection to positive reinforcement, and from time-outs to my serious “I mean business” stare, I’ve got every tool you can imagine at my disposal.
But if you were to ask me which tool I couldn’t live without, the one I would choose over all the others for a happily-ever-after parenting journey? It’s humor. No contest. Humor is, without a doubt, the most invaluable asset in my parenting toolkit.
Perhaps it’s simply because I have a knack for making people laugh, or maybe it’s the endless comedic material that parenting provides. Whatever the reason, humor has rescued both my kids and me more times than I can count.
When my teenager, Sarah, gets particularly moody, I’ve found that a good laugh is the best remedy. A silly face, an exaggerated voice, or a spontaneous dance party (which you really have to witness) can turn her frown upside down. Laughter eases tension, bridging the gaps that sometimes form between us. Occasionally, she’ll feign annoyance at my antics, but even she can’t help but smile while she’s complaining. It’s as if I can see her frustration fading before my eyes, which is truly a beautiful sight.
On nights when my children express disdain for dinner, my instinct is to launch into a lengthy lecture about how fortunate they are compared to kids in other parts of the world. I’ve done it before, and sometimes it’s warranted. However, I’ve discovered that appealing to their sense of humor often yields better results. I might challenge them to eat their veggies with their toes or joke that if they don’t finish their meal in three bites—plate and utensils included—they’ll have to clean my toenails with their toothbrush. Kids find toes hilarious, and embracing absurdity can be a surprisingly effective parenting tactic.
While it may take a conscious effort to embrace humor, it ultimately becomes a mindset. I strive to make laughter my first choice when addressing discipline. It fosters connection, and I want my family to feel united, even during challenging times. As long as the laughter isn’t at anyone’s expense, sharing a giggle can strengthen our family bond. When a conflict arises, I aim to get everyone laughing first. Laughter creates a warm, connected environment, allowing us to engage in meaningful discussions about whatever’s bothering us. Skipping straight to serious talks rarely leads to productive outcomes.
Humor is also incredibly beneficial for my frazzled nerves as a parent. In the midst of chaos, laughter is far more effective than panic. While it’s challenging to maintain perspective when you’re overwhelmed, stepping back to observe the madness often leads to fits of laughter instead of tears. After all, the messes, the meltdowns, and the demands can seem overwhelming, but if you can find humor in the moment, it lightens the load.
We all need to embrace a lighter approach. Life is often amusing, and so are children. Let go of the need for perfection, and recognize that not every behavior requires intense scrutiny. Parenting may be one of the toughest jobs out there, but it’s also filled with laughter. When you focus on the humorous aspects, the challenges become a bit more manageable.
And that’s no laughing matter.
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Summary
In the journey of parenting, humor stands out as the most essential tool. It fosters connection, eases tense moments, and helps navigate the chaos of family life. Whether it’s turning a frown into a smile or lightening the mood during meal complaints, laughter can transform challenges into joyful moments. Embracing humor not only makes parenting more enjoyable but also strengthens family bonds.